Love Thy Neighbor

Chapter 55

"Why is she so cranky?" Shawn asks about Lila one Thursday morning.

We're out to breakfast, trying to enjoy our bagels, and my daughter is fussing about everything.

"I dropped her morning feeding. She's not really happy about it. She's going to be something else when I cut her off completely."

"Let's get the bagels wrapped up to go," he suggests after she lets out a particularly loud shriek.

Back at home, in her high chair, she's a bit better, but not much.

"This is probably the worst time to ask this, but do you want more kids?" Shawn asks.

I look at Lila as she throws her sippy cup to the ground and then cries because she wants it.

"Not for a while," I say.

"How long is a while?"

"I'd kind of like some time where my body is not a food dispenser. Plus, she's walking now and that has made life harder."

Shawn just nods.

"Are you hinting at something, babe? You want to put a baby in me?" I ask teasingly.

"Yeah. I do."

I didn't expect such a blunt answer.

Thankfully, Delilah starts screaming to get out of the high chair, so the subject is dropped. I keep thinking about it, though. In a way I'm not surprised. Shawn loves Lila and is a natural at parenting. The thing is, we haven't even been back together six weeks. It's awfully early to be thinking about having a baby together. We haven't even talked about marriage. One thing is for sure, I am getting married first this time.

My parents visit mid-February because they are missing Lila. For the first part of their visit, Shawn is in Toronto. He periodically goes back to see friends and check up on his condo, which he's held on to as an investment.

Shawn is a little nervous about seeing my folks again after so many years, but as soon as he gets back in town and comes over to see them, they shower him with affection. They are so happy that we're back together. I am grateful that both sets of parents love and support us as a couple.

"Tomorrow is Valentine's Day," my mom says as we sit at the table having our morning coffee while my dad has taken Lila for a stroll. "You and Shawn should go out. Your dad and I can watch Lila."

The idea of time alone with Shawn is appealing. My parents have been in town for four days, and Shawn and I have not spent the night together since he left for Toronto.

"But you and dad should go out and have a romantic date. You could go into Manhattan to someplace fancy."

My mom waves a hand dismissively. "Your dad and I are empty nesters. We have every night to go out and be romantic. You and Shawn have a baby holding you back."

"I'll talk to Shawn," I say.

Shawn is thrilled with the idea of a date. He gets right on trying to get us a reservation someplace nice. He ends up booking a table at the River Cafe in Brooklyn Heights. Because he's booked it so late, they can't get us in until 9:30 PM. I tell him that's perfect. I can nurse Lila, put her to bed, and my parents will have the easiest night of babysitting ever.

Shawn arrives at 8:00 with roses and chocolates. He got here early so that he can kiss Lila goodnight. I miss having him around at night, but I think it is even tougher on Lila. She's asleep by 8:50, so we bid my parents goodbye and head out to the restaurant.

Dinner is lovely. We have a table overlooking the water with a fabulous view of Manhattan. We take our time savoring each course, since it's so nice to be out alone at night.

Shawn and I had decided weeks ago that we would skip presents for Valentine's Day (though apparently flowers and chocolates did not count), and each make a donation to a Brooklyn children's hospital instead. I was a bit surprised that Shawn said he'd gotten me something as we were driving home.

"We agreed no presents!" I scolded.

"It's not really a present," he argues, "since it is more for me. But I got it for you, if that makes sense."

"You have my curiosity piqued."

He drives us to his house instead of mine. I'm not surprised; we are overdue for some intimacy. It has almost been a week.

As we're frantically removing our clothes in his room, I see something on Shawn's inner right wrist as he pulls off his shirt.

"You got a new tattoo?" I ask, as I pull his wrist closer to the bedside lamp so I can see it better.

It's a heart with a cursive J in the center. The heart is not your standard perfect heart shape, but more asymmetrical, like it was hand drawn.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he says. "I visited my tattoo artist while I was in Toronto. I had to get something to signify that we're together. I wanted something permanent, since that's what we are. We're forever."

I pull his wrist to my lips and kiss the tattoo gently. "I love it," I say.

Shawn gives me a kiss on the forehead. "I wanted to get a tattoo for Lila, too, but I wasn't sure if that was okay. I know David is touchy about us and I don't ever want to overstep my bounds in terms of my relationship with her."

I'm touched by the thought he has put into this. His relationship with Lila is something I think about a lot. We pretty much live together, switching between his place and mine. Aside from the time I am working and Lila is with Marian, Shawn is with her. He's spent about the same time with her in the last couple months that David has spent with her in her entire life. I have done the math. I know this is the root of David's issues with Shawn. It has nothing to do with me; it's about Shawn being more of a day to day parent than he is.

Within the next month or so, Lila will be fully weaned. At that point, David and Perri will try to take her overnight. They have made a room for her in his condo and have gotten the whole place baby proofed. I'm concerned that she will struggle with being away from me, and for that reason, we are going to do several test runs before we alter the custody situation. If she adapts, they will have her every other weekend.

So yes, it's good that Shawn is being considerate. David is Lila's dad. They can both love her and can both be huge parts of her life, though.

"You are really something special," I say to Shawn, pulling him over to the bed. "I don't have a Valentine's present for you, but maybe I can give you a gift of some sort."