Love Thy Neighbor

Chapter 34

The beginning of the first leg of Shawn's tour goes excruciatingly slowly for me. I put everything into my schoolwork, but I'm still left with hours each night that I spend missing him.

Liz and Jules are awesome about texting and calling me, but they both have lives of their own. Liz has been seeing the guy she hooked up with on New Year's Eve. Jules took a second job so that she could get her student loans paid off quicker.

I've made a couple friends at school who have invited me out, but I'm not really into the college bar scene anymore.

Karen and Manny invite me to dinner the first Sunday after Shawn left. It's so good to see them, but it also makes me miss Shawn more.

I visit Quebec the second weekend Shawn is gone. It's nice to be home. Nana's house has a renter, so my dad has me sign all the paperwork for that. I'm a bit melancholy about the idea of some strangers living there, but I know it's what has to happen. It's not like I can move to Brooklyn and live there.

Thankfully, Shawn's fans are so amazing at sharing concert experiences online that I can watch clips from each performance right after they happen. Sometimes I've seen footage of a song or part of the Q&A before Shawn and I have our nightly talk.

"Nice trip on stage," I say as I answer the phone after his concert in Berlin.

"You saw that, eh?" he says with a chuckle.

"Do you do it to make your fans happy?"

"No! Are you seriously doubting if I am that clumsy? You've seen me trip at home a hundred times!"

"One day you are going to fall and break your wrist," I tell him.

"Did you get that paper back?" he asks, referring to a huge paper I'd been working on the week before.

"Yep. I got a 93."

"My girl is so smart," he says proudly.

"I was hoping for something over 95," I whine.

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

I laugh. "Says the guy who anguishes over voice cracks or forgotten lyrics."

"So you haven't sent me sexy texts for a couple days," he says, changing the subject completely.

"I have my period," I explain. "Not feeling particularly sexy."

"Bummer. Send me a pic of your beautiful face, then."

"You really wanna see the huge zit on my chin?" I ask.

He laughs. "Yes. And I will send you a pic so you can see the one on my forehead."

"I already saw it during your Q&A," I tease.

"Ouch. I didn't realize it was that noticeable. I guess my make-up skills suck."

We say our goodbyes and send each other the promised pics. Our zits are equally hideous, which is oddly amusing.

Several days later, our conversation is not quite so humorous.

"I'm just not sleeping well, Jess," he tells me. "Melatonin does nothing. I may have to start taking something stronger."

"Is it usually like this on tour?"

"Never. I can usually sleep anywhere at any time," he says, the frustration in his voice apparent.

"Ugh, baby. That is horrible."

"It's starting to impact my performances. Last night, in Madrid, I just didn't have the energy I should. It's so fucking unfair to my fans!"