Love Thy Neighbor

Chapter 41

I wake up the next day and realize exactly how stupid my reaction to all this Shawn stuff had been.

First of all, he wrote that letter in 2021. It is now 2023. He's had years to get over me. Sure his new song title is intriguing, but he may have written it when our break-up was fresh. Or maybe he wrote it about someone else. It's extremely egocentric of me to even entertain the idea that it is about me or that he feels that way now.

Secondly, the mere idea of seeing him again made me very uncomfortable. I've always had a tendency to be awkward. I feel like seeing him would just exacerbate that, and I would probably make an ass of myself. And if I am being completely honest with myself, I don't really know how I could ever explain Lila to him. He'd judge me for getting back together with David. Hell, I deserve to be judged. If it wasn't for the fact that I got my sweet baby out of it, I'd wish I could take it all back. But I have Lila, and I am now a mom. Why on earth would Shawn Mendes want anything to do with a mom? Moms aren't exactly guy magnets.

Last night in bed, after Delilah was asleep in her crib, I listened to his two most recent albums. I'd pretty much avoided his music for all these years. Avoiding his music meant practically giving up pop music in general. I'd treated Shawn like an addiction when we broke up; I gave up all things related to him cold turkey.

His new music was great. He was ever-evolving, and his more recent sound was much more complex than his earlier releases. Unfortunately, hearing his voice brought back so many memories. It made me feel intense regret, which I ended up shedding tears over.

I text both Kendra and Elsie and tell them that yesterday was a temporary state of weakness and ask that they not mention it again. I don't want any more info on Shawn, and I especially don't want to know where he lives. I explain that I feel obsessive and stalkerish, and that's just not me.

They both agree to drop the subject.

The following weekend, my parents visit. They'd wanted to come a bit later in the month for my birthday and Lila's first Halloween, but my dad ended up having elbow surgery scheduled for that last week in October. I was actually kind of glad. Kendra and I had plans to take the babies trick-or-treating and were then going to drink that night for my birthday. I never drink, since I am still nursing Lila, but I was going to pump a couple bottles so that I could. It's silly how much I was looking forward to it. As much as I love my parents, I didn't really want them around while I was drinking.

Plus, whenever my parents visit, their focus is 100% on Delilah, which I'm thankful for. I don't like it when the focus is on me. If they were here for my birthday, I'd get some of that attention.

Saturday afternoon, during their visit, David comes by to see Lila. My parents aren't crazy about him, but they understand that he's her father and needs to be part of her life. At this point, David and I are friends.

Since they don't really want to hang out with my ex, they go into Manhattan to sightsee while he's visiting.

David is down on the floor with Delilah while she plays on her activity mat. She can crawl now, and he's keeping a sharp eye on her. He'd installed gates at my stairways as soon as she became mobile about six weeks ago.

"So what's new with you, Jessie?" he asks as he lifts our daughter in the air.

"Not a lot. Work is good. Lila is perfect. No complaints."

"You seeing anyone?"

I roll my eyes. "No. And I don't know why you always ask me that."

He puts Delilah down. "I am seeing someone now, Jess. It's getting kind of serious. I've actually been seeing her for about four months."

I smile at him. "Really? That is great!"

I mean this sincerely. I want David to be happy. He's a good man and deserves to find love with someone. I definitely was not that person, but I harbor no resentment regarding that fact.

"I'd like to bring her to meet Lila eventually. I know that might be weird for both of you," he says.

"Come on. We're the perfect annulled couple! It won't be weird."

"Okay, maybe not for you. But I think she finds our situation strange. Maybe strange is the wrong word. I think she has a hard time believing that we split up as friends."

I nod. "Then let's do this...you bring her over and I will leave and go get coffee or lunch with friends. You can have all afternoon to yourselves."

I'd never left Lila with David. That probably sounds odd since he's her dad, but I haven't had to. I know that as she gets older, she'll start spending more time with him. In fact, we've agreed that he will get every other weekend with her. I'm dreading that happening, but I know it's good for everyone. Lila needs time with her father.

"That would be great. We can figure out when later," he says happily.

As he's getting ready to leave, he asks, "What are your Halloween plans? Is Delilah dressing up?"

"Kendra and I are taking the babies out trick-or-treating."

For a second I wonder if he will ask to join us. He doesn't, and I suspect he is probably going out or has plans with his girlfriend.

"Happy early birthday," he says, giving me a kiss on the cheek. He then kisses Lila who is squirming in my arms, eager to get back on the floor. "Love you sweetie," he tells her softly.

He's about to leave when he turns back. "Can you make sure you send me and my parents pictures from Halloween?"

"Of course," I say.

His parents have a long-distance relationship with Delilah, because his mom is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer. They'd only visited two times since she was born. They love getting pictures and videos. I make a mental note to send them a couple pics I took of David and Delilah today.

David leaves and I have some time before my parents return. I feed Lila and then bring her into bed with me for a nap. One of the perks of having a baby is napping together.

The rest of the visit with my parents is great. We cook, eat, shop, and spoil the baby. Before they leave on Sunday, they hand me a birthday present with instructions not to open it until my day. They also hand me a Halloween present for Delilah.

"Open it now!" my mom squeals.

Inside is a jack-o-lantern onesie with a matching cap. It's so adorable. There's also a bib with a cute ghost that says "Baby's 1st Halloween."

"I expect pictures of her in these," my mom says as they get ready to leave.

After they are gone, I call Kendra and we talk about our Halloween plans. We still have to buy or make the babies' costumes, so we set up plans to do that. Halloween is only a little over a week away.