Love Thy Neighbor

Chapter 50

Shawn picks me and Lila up on December 24th. We're spending the day with his family. We could have walked, but there's a lot of ice on the sidewalks. And yes, Shawn bought a car seat and installed it in his car.

"Jessica!" Karen yells from the kitchen as we enter the house.

I can tell from the delicious smells that she's been baking.

She hurries to the foyer and gives me a hug and a kiss. "I am so happy to see you!" she says.

Karen looks the exact same. Still gorgeous and still youthful.

She then turns to Shawn who is holding Lila. "Oh my! She is even more beautiful than the pictures I've seen. Jess, she looks just like you! Hello, Lila."

Lila hears her name and extends her arms to Karen who reaches for her and gives her kisses all over her cheeks. Manny and Aaliyah suddenly appear at the front door with some shopping bags. Aaliyah shrieks when she sees me.

"Jess! I've missed you!" she says as she rushes into my arms.

Manny gives me me a hug, "Welcome back," he whispers in my ear. He then turns to Lila and gives her a kiss on the top of her head. "So this is who Shawn won't stop talking about, eh?"

Shawn has moved his coffee table aside so that the living room floor has a huge space for Lila to play. Shawn and his dad watch her while Karen, Aaliyah, and I bake cookies in the kitchen.

"How was your trip to Canada?" Karen asks.

I tell her all about it and tell her how my family is doing. They'd only met once over the course of our one year relationship, but they'd gotten along really well.

I ask Aaliyah about school. She's loving college. Karen interjects that she might be loving it a bit too much, which Aaliyah rolls her eyes at. She has a boyfriend who is from Vancouver and she's missing him a lot. I remember that feeling when Shawn and I would be separated when he'd travel.

We put out a bunch of appetizer foods for lunch. Lila loves trying all the new tastes. It's so much easier now that she is on table food, though I am still worried about choking, so I make sure everything is in tiny pieces. After lunch I put her down in her portable crib which Shawn has put in the office next to the living room. I turn on the monitor and shut the door. I check the monitor in the kitchen and see it's working. Karen looks at the video image, too.

"She's such a love, Jess," she says, "and motherhood suits you."

"She's my life," I say.

"Is she a good napper?" she asks as she gets out all the supplies to decorate the cookies we'd baked earlier.

"She just dropped down to one nap a day, so it's usually about two hours long. I stopped giving her a midday feeding, so we've had a lot of changes. I'm amazed how adaptable she is."

"Aaliyah was like that. Shawn wasn't. He hated any kind of change."

I laugh. "He still likes to get his way."

Karen looks at me and opens her mouth as if she is going to say something, but she stops herself.

"What?" I ask.

"I am so happy to have you back in Shawn's life, Jessica. I think the fact that you have Lila is an added bonus. You both make him so happy."

I smile at her and try to keep from tearing up, but I can't stop a tear from rolling down my cheek.

"He makes Lila and me very happy, too. She loves him."

Karen raises an eyebrow. "What about you? You've only been here half a day and I can tell you and Shawn love each other."

I'm kind of startled by her bluntness. "I'm still working those feelings out," I say honestly.

Karen changes the conversation and I'm relieved. We talk about my job and how perfect my work schedule is.

Later in the afternoon, Lila is playing on the floor with the toys Karen and Manny gave her for her birthday (Shawn is not the only Mendes bent on spoiling her, apparently), while Shawn and I sit on the couch. His parents are cooking dinner.

Shawn scoots closer to me and puts an arm around me and pulls me to his chest.

"Are you really making a move while your parents are in the next room?" I tease, knowing he would never do that.

I hope he can't feel how fast my heart is beating, though.

"Friends can cuddle," he says.

We sit like this until Lila crawls over and demands that Shawn pick her up.

Dinner is delicious. We sit around the table talking for hours after we're done, while Lila is passed around to each person, happy as can be.

When it gets close to 10:00, I tell everyone I need to get going. Shawn drives us home and walks us in the house. He gives Lila a kiss on the cheek which she returns to him, since she loves giving kisses, albeit rather wet ones.

He then turns to me. He reaches out and touches my cheek, his hand resting along my jaw. Part of my brain is screaming, "KISS ME!" while another part is panicking about whether this is smart. He leans in and I close my eyes. I can feel his warm breath on my lips and I know his lips are very close to mine. I wait for the moment when we finally connect.

Then I feel him kiss my forehead. I open my eyes and he steps back.

"Goodnight, Jessica. I'll pick you up around 8:00 tomorrow, okay?"

I nod. He leaves.

What was that?

I feed Lila and put her in jammies. I then get ready for bed. I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about what happened.

He was going to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. Every fiber of my being wanted it. But he stopped himself. Why?