Love Thy Neighbor

Chapter 56

Winter turns into early spring and our happy routine remains pretty consistent. Lila is finally weaned. I'm happy to be done, but I also feel a tinge of sadness. I feel like Lila's not my little baby anymore.

The first few times Lila has her visits with her dad, they are just for the day. David and Perri pick her up in the morning and bring her home at night. I have a hard time letting go, but David loves his daughter and deserves time with her. Perri is an awesome woman and I am glad she is there with David.

The first visit is a little rocky. Lila does not want to nap and cries for me. The second visit goes much better. The second weekend in April, she has her first overnight stay. I am a wreck.

"Jess, relax. She will be fine. And if she's not, David will call you and bring her home. He's not going to let her cry all night," Shawn says to reassure me.

"I just wish he'd text me," I say. "It's 9:30. She should be asleep. I just want to know that she fell asleep okay."

I barely get the words out before my phone dings.

David: L is sleeping. She asked for you, but we distracted her with a dozen books. No tears.

Me: Thanks. Can you text me when she wakes up?

David: Will do

Shawn reads the texts over my shoulder.

"See? It's fine."

He sits down on the couch. "C'mere, baby," he says, patting his lap.

I put my phone down after making sure I have the volume up in case I get a call, and walk over so I am standing in front of him.

"We have this whole house to ourselves. We can do whatever we want, as loudly as we want. And then we can sleep in the next day."

"You almost make it sound like you are glad she is gone," I say with a pout.

"Jess, honey, you know that isn't true. But we have to get used to having her gone. We may as well enjoy ourselves instead of moping around," he says as he takes my hands in his.

He has a point. I climb on his lap. He pulls me to him and kisses me, and I'm soon lost in his touch.

The next day, David texts bright and early that Lila is awake and eating breakfast. I respond and then put the phone back on the bedside table. I fall asleep for two more hours. I cannot remember the last time I slept so late and I feel a bit guilty for enjoying it so much.

Shawn goes for a long run in the neighborhood while I drink coffee and check my phone. Liz and Jules have texted about getting together. We'd had a weekend planned in January, but then Jules broke her foot skiing and we had to reschedule.

I text my mom about Lila doing okay at David's and send her a couple pictures I'd taken at the park earlier in the week. I decide to send Karen the pictures, too. Karen and Manny are almost like a third set of grandparents to Delilah.

Shawn walks through the front door dripping in sweat. He comes over to kiss me, and as gross and sweaty as he is, I let him. If losing him once taught me anything, it's to treasure every tiny part of being a couple. Yes, I even treasure sweaty kisses.

After he showers, we make lunch together and then I curl up and watch the BBC series Luther, which is my latest addiction. Shawn goes up to my office with his guitar to work on a song.

Before I know it, David and Perri are at the door dropping Lila off.

"So I did it!" David says proudly as he walks in the door holding Delilah.

I assume he means the successful sleepover with Lila so I just smile at him.

"I got Lila to say 'dada' this morning!" he exclaims.

Perri pulls out her phone and shows me the recording of Lila pointing to her dad and saying "dada."

Lila is talking up a storm these days. She can name dozens of objects and says quite a few verbs. She does not string words together yet, but I know that is coming. For whatever reason, "dada" was not a word she wanted to say.

David sets Lila down on the floor and hands me her overnight bag.

"I have a ton of clothes for her since the grandparents are sending her stuff all the time. Next time I will pack up a box of stuff you can just keep at your place. That way you won't have to keep carrying a bag back and forth."

Lila's next overnight visit is in two weeks. I'm already dreading it, but I know I have to adjust to this.

Shawn comes down the stairs.

"Hey guys, I didn't know you were here," he says.

He walks over and shakes David's hand and gives Perri a hug. We're all trying very hard to be polite and friendly.

Shawn sees Lila standing by the couch and plops down next to her on the floor. "Hey there, Delilah."

Lila smiles at him, extends both arms, and walks to him. As she goes in for a hug, she says, "dada!" as clear as day.

The silence in my house is deafening.

"I don't believe this," David says angrily.

Perri laughs nervously, "She probably just thinks all men are 'dada' right now. She'll realize you are her real 'dada' soon!"

"Did you teach her to call you that?" he asks Shawn, hostility dripping from his voice.

Shawn lets go of Lila and hands her a toy. He then stands up and walks over to David. I notice that he towers over him.

"No. I did not. I would never do that. I've been trying to get her to say "Shawn" for months with no luck," he says.

David whips his head towards me, "She is not going to call him 'dada.' Is that clear?"

"Look, David, I don't want her doing it either, but she's a one year old learning how to talk. I can't really get mad at her  for misnaming things. Perri is right. She will soon realize you are 'dada.'"

David just shakes his head. "How would you feel if Lila said 'mama' to Perri?"

"It would hurt my feelings, I guess. I wouldn't get angry, and I certainly wouldn't blame Perri!" I say.

Perri is looking increasingly anxious. "David, we should go."

He storms out of the front door.

Perri gives me a sympathetic look. "I'll talk to him. He needs to get over this." She then turns to Shawn, "Please don't take it personally. David knows you are good to Lila. This is more about him than you."

Perri leaves. Shawn runs a hand through his hair and sits down on the couch.

"What am I doing wrong?" he asks.

I sit down next to him and put my head on his shoulder. "Nothing. You are wonderful. Just give David time."