the recovery project [2]

3 7

aidan

they sit in a corner booth away from everyone and order a plate of nachos. it's a strain to hear anything over an imagine dragons song blaring through the speakers.

"so... do you want to talk about why you've been moping around for the past few weeks? i know it's not just the whole 'i've been busy with schoolwork' spiel."

aidan wants to refuse to speak or just leave, but it isn't fair to preston, who assured he would pay, who is trying to communicate despite the fact that they barely know each other.

"what's their name?"

a small surge of gratitude fills him towards the other boy for not assuming he's heterosexual, and also a slight reddening of his cheeks. "his name is everett."

preston sits back and chews his bite of his burger slowly, as if knowing that this will be a long story.

"long story short, we went to high school together, and at first, we hated each other— or so i thought. we both dated two separate girls for a little bit, but the relationships didn't last. i had a panic attack one day and he calmed me down, but left. i was just... so pissed off at him and we fought on the football field and i... i punched him in the face. winter break rolled around, and by the time i got back to school, i wanted to change how i acted. so i interrupted him during his cello piece and apologized. he kissed me. he kissed me and i finally felt the strongest connection ever, and he said that he had cared about me for so long. things went well for barely two weeks before they went out to hell. his mom struggled to accept him for being pansexual. then his friends saw us talking, and they forced him to— they forced him to punch me over and over again. i didn't do anything after that. i didn't help him, i wasn't there for him... and he just... he tried to kill himself for the second time, and all i could think was that there was something i should've done," aidan's eyes well with tears. "but i did nothing."

he takes a deep breath, trying to reclaim some sort of strength. "he was sent to a mental health clinic, and i graduated high school, and we parted ways. then, about eight months ago, i was running late to class, and i stumbled into starbuck's for coffee, and he was there. since then, we've talked, we became friends again, and i know more about him than i did when we were dating."

preston raises his finger in an interruption to say something. "what's your ship name?"

aidan chews on the inside of his lip and shakes his head. "he has a girlfriend, and i still kissed him. i kissed him and he kissed me back, but it meant nothing. i told him i fucking loved him, i spilled my feelings out to him, and he just, he just kicked me out."

preston curses under his breath in korean.

"he kicked me out," aidan wipes a tear from his eye, embarrassed with himself for being so fragile, like a porcelain doll that doesn't have all of its pieces. "and i only dated him for two weeks, but the connection we had, the time we spent together this past year... it meant something to me."

"i'm sorry," his roommate says. "that really sucks. and it hurts, i know, but at one point you have to let go. he has a girlfriend, and i know that you want to be with him, but you're only setting yourself up for more heartbreak when you're with him."

"i know," aidan murmurs. "unrequited love is a bitch."