the recovery project [2]

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preston

"where were you?" his father asks, arms crossed. he isn't angry like preston expected him to be, but appears to be upset, his eyes watering. "you couldn't come to my funeral?"

he had stepped outside of the church after five minutes with the threat of a panic attack to hit him. knowing that his father was dead, that the funeral was closure, was too much, and he couldn't bring himself to go back inside to stare at a closed coffin.

"i'm sorry," he whispers, sounding like his seven year-old self all over again. "i'm sorry, dad."

"you couldn't come to your own father's funeral?"

"i'm sorry," he says again, crying, getting on his knees to plead for forgiveness. please come back, please come back, please come back. "i'm so sorry."

preston wakes up screaming for his father.

"preston!" vivian's arms wrap around his waist, clutching him tightly, because he can't stop. he sobs into her chest even though she's smaller than him, and she rubs his back, reality returning to calm him. "sh, it's okay. it's okay."