the recovery project [2]

6 7

everett

he pulls away, breathing heavily. his eyes are still closed, and he wipes his mouth. "we... we shouldn't have done that."

"are you going to make me leave again?" aidan is vulnerable, all of his cards laid down. everett knows that he partly agrees, yet he doesn't know if aidan will be able to bear another rejection. "please don't make me go."

"no," everett squeezes his hand. "i just want to talk about this, us, before we jump in too deep. we both have done some stupid things lately, with the kissing when i was dating fiona, and the rude words we exchanged in the alley—"

"i'm sorry, i was just frustrated—"

everett just wants to be with him, but he can't. he can't do it without communication. "you were right. i shouldn't have done all this; kissing you, trying to kill myself... i wasn't in a good place... but it also wasn't your decision to make."

"i'm sorry."

"hey," everett tilts his head up so their eyes lock. "it's okay. if just gets hard for me sometimes, knowing that i tried to failed everything, even failing to kill myself."

"don't say that," aidan whispers, shaking his head. "you aren't a failure."

"things have gotten better, though. i failed to kill myself, and that's what saved me. my depression just doesn't turn on and off like a switch. even when i'm happy, it's always lingering, waiting to pounce the second i let my guard down. my medication, and being with people like you, helps, however."

"i... thank you."

"but i can't be in a relationship yet," everett pulls his hand away. "we both should wait a little bit longer. fiona... she's still on my mind, and i need to overcome this, with her. together."

he just needs some time.