I don't want a world, I only want you

Still Not Yet?

  With his realize his feeling towards Forth, everything seems easier. He already felt nothing when Forth using his car instead he feels blessed- no need to drive, he also can get a little bit sleep. With Forth as his driver, he easily can ask Forth picks him up, sends him anytime and anywhere without need to take care about the parking matter.

Not just only that, Forth never lets him spends his money when they go out. There is at some point, where Beam secretly pays for their lunch, because he felt guilty, thinking he takes advantages of Forth and also as a man, why not spends his money sometimes.

But the consequences in really terrible! The whole time, Forth never speaks, keep quiet. And me, as always, I really can't stand Forth's quietness. It's torturing me and it seems Forth can already realizes this is my weakness when it comes to Forth.

"Forth, okay, I'm sorry but why I can't pay? We eat together, and for many times you already pay for our meals why not this time I pay?"

"It's not that you cannot pay but it is for myself. My belief that I should support you and I'm the one who should spend the money not you when we get out and you doing this, it's hurting my self-esteem." Forth becomes frustrated, thinking that without him, Beam can just live easily. He wants Beam to depend on him, let him spoils Beam to rotten until Beam can't do anything without Forth. This is hard.

"Forth, I'm not a woman who needs to be care attentively. I'm a man who also wants to be spoil and spoil the other person too, give love and care, be equal to each other. Do you understand what I mean?" Forth just keep quiet, focusing his eyes on the road. Beam just sighs. This is hard.

Arriving at the faculty, Forth still keep quiet, never once look at Beam, usually Forth will takes advantages at him, such as suddenly kiss his cheeks, holds his hand, make a cheeky remarks and many other that just makes Beam keep falling in love more and more.

"Forth, look at me. Look at me, please. I beg you." Beam needs to hold Forth's face and stares at Forth's eyes.

"Okay, what is the real problem, Forth, tell me." Beam never let's go his hold on Forth's face, afraid once he lets go, Forth will avoid this topic. Beam thinking that any problem that arrives should immediately solves it to avoid the conflicts later.

Seeing that Beam will not let go this matter, Forth takes Beam's hand and holds it. "What are we? Just now, you said you also wants to give love and care and also be equal to each other. Can I take that as we already become boyfriends?" Forth looking hopefully at Beam.

Almost a month he never had sex with Beam again, and he never in moods to do 'it' with someone else. Only Beam he wants. Only Beam can get 'it' hard. Already he had many times the passion or feeling just want to push Beam down. But, he can't. He wants to prove to Beam, that he falls in love not just because sex only but everything about Beam but this is really hard.

Hearing this, Beam laughs silently. This is the thing that Forth most worried? Sorry Forth but please be patient. Just really want to tease you. I just want to see until when you can hold on without sex.

"Are you trying to force me? Saying you loves me but instead you just want sex, right!? Then, anybody will do, right?" Beam shows his anger. Really Beam, you should become an actor.

"N-No!" Forth sighs. He feels guilty, Beam is right, it's like he forcing Beam to be with him. Beam are you happy with me or just because I threaten you, you need to follow me? I hope I had a power to see what is in your mind.

"You know what, just forget this conversation. I'll wait for you until you say you loves me. Oh, about spending money, I'll will say the time where you can pay for us but once in a month. No compromise." Forth just smiles but Beam sensing something is different with that smile.

Is he too much in his teasing?

"Okay, now go. Your class will be start in five minutes."

"B-But..."

"Go." Forth pushing Beam out and faster drives Beam's car away.

Maybe he just overthinking things, because Forth still treat him the same later on.