Forbidden Love | Reylo Fanfiction

22. Why Bother?

Rey's P.O.V

My eyes fluttered open and I knew exactly where I was. I was headed to an escape pod. I was no longer being carried by Snoke's guards, they must have gone back to deal with Ben and Sira. I was being transported my storm troopers. A group of maybe five, no more, no less. I was tempted to do the classic Jedi mind trick but at the same time, I couldn't be bothered. They were sending me back home anyway. Why bother fighting?

"Rey, are you okay?" A boy with deep brown, almost blackish hair asked, his face was speckled with freckles and his eyes were kind. I instantly recognised him, it was Ben. Ben Solo. I just nodded, brushing the dirt from my knees. I had fallen over, it wasn't a rare occurrence. I was extremely clumsy. There was an uncomfortable stabbing pain in my knee, as I looked down it became apparent that I had grazed it. "Let's go to medical, I want to make sure you're okay." He smiled, grabbing my small hand in his hand. Ben was my best friend here, we were inseparable. I loved him, in a friendly way. I couldn't live without him. I simply nodded and followed his lead, hand in hand. Then I paused. "No. I want to be strong and this is weak." I said, pulling my hand from his and crossing my arms. He just stood there, forming a smile that I could tell wanted to laugh. "Why bother fighting Rey? Come on." He chuckled, picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

I froze as a memory from so long ago flooded into my brain. I knew Ben. I knew him when I was little. But that didn't make sense, that didn't add up. I had been in Jakku for as long as I could remember. But it was clear, I had known Ben. I was friends with him, best friends. What had happened? I shook it off, maybe it was some evil force bond. Maybe Snoke had projected it into my mind. Why would anyone hide that from me?

"Let her go!" I heard an all too familiar voice command. I smiled as I heard his voice, Ben. Then I frown. He had chosen Sira over me, once more. He was going to make Sira kill me. He wasn't the sweet little boy I had once known. "What do you want?" I whispered, it forming more like a hiss, as the storm troopers dropped their grip and walked away, slowly. I just wanted to leave. I didn't want all of this mess. "I'm taking you back ho- to the resistance base." He replied, putting his hand on my back and leading me into a slightly larger escape pod. This pod was different from the others, it allowed the escapees to control where they were going. I didn't bother fighting. I was going home. I stepped in, sitting myself down on the comfortable black seat. He stepped in too and sat opposite me, closing the door behind him. He pulled a database tablet from the wall beside of him and started tapping away. I couldn't see what he was doing but i didn't need to, I knew he was taking me home. The pod started to move as he placed the tablet back and we quickly shot out of range from the base.

We sat, letting silence consume the pod. I wanted to talk, I just didn't know what to say. This was the perfect time to ask him questions, but I was afraid of his answer. Or maybe I was afraid of his response. Maybe I was afraid of my questions. I didn't know. But I was afraid. But that has never stopped me before, so I took a deep breath in and looked at him. "Where is she?" I asked, fiddling with the material at the bottom of my top and removing my eyes from his.I heard him sigh and I looked back up at him, he was pushing his hands through his hair, his elbows resting on his knees. "She's dead, Rey." He sighed, resting his head in his hands. She's dead? Like dead, dead? I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Ben, he had lost everyone that cared about him. Almost everyone. He pushed the others away. "Oh- I'm sorry." I reply, not sure what to say. What do you say to someone who just lost their girlfriend? I heard him chuckle and he sat up straight, looking at me with both of his eyes. "No you're not." He chuckled, moving to the edge of his seat. I just looked at him before turning away and looking outside of the giant window that allowed us to look into outer space.

"I killed her, Rey." He whispered after a few moments of silence. I gasped, turning around to face him again. He what? He killed her? "You killed her?" I asked, more to myself than him. I was shocked, how could he? He loved her. "I had no choice." He replied, sighing and pulling his head back up from his hands and looking at me. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. Of course he had a choice. He's had many choices, he always had done. But he ALWAYS chose wrong. It wasn't because I was angry with him that I felt this way, I mean I was angry but that wasn't it. It was that I felt like he was letting himself down. He almost had to live up to this expectation, this deep and dark and powerful image that he had created himself. He didn't need to, he didn't understand. I didn't want this dark evil man, I wanted Ben Solo. I wanted him for him. And so did everybody else. "I don't understand, Ben. Where do you stand?" I asked, praying the answer wouldn't upset me. I heard him sigh, I kept my eyes locked with his. I wasn't letting him slip away. I couldn't. "In all honestly, I don't know, Rey." He whispered back, I just nodded. That answer was good enough for me.

"Why did you come back? I let you go..."

I looked at him, tears starting to bubble up behind my eyes. "Why did you let me go?" I asked, ignoring the question he had asked. I just needed to know.

AN

soooooo, I know this is a little slow at the moment but I'm getting back into a schedule now and getting back into the swing of things.

What do you think?

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