You, but not you - a EruRi Lovestory

4 - The Doctor

Oh Fred didn't wanted to be in one room with the corporal. His voice was enough to make him almost shit his pants, shrugging together in the resting room, where he tried to get a few hours of sleep after another long night shift, but it was for Erwins sake. Cautiously he walks into Erwins room to discover, that he was awake! He didn't believed anymore that Erwin would actually wake up. Sadly it exactly the case he had predicted was right there. Erwin had lost his memories. It is clearly imprinted in the males face. The sky blue eyes shining from the tears he had shed, his body shaking from fear and pure panic.
"Nurse bring an injection to calm Mr. Smith down, hurry please." His voice was calm all the time he would be in this chamber to not cause anymore stress. The injection will help with the panic attack. He didn't wanted to face Levi, but he had to, to hopefully get that glare out of his face.
"Corporal could you please open a window. A bit of fresh air would do us all good." He is at the side of Erwins bed, who still tried to proceed what Levi had told him.
"War.... I don't."
"Sh Mr. Smith? Mr. Smith please look at me." Fred touches the arm of Erwin softly, who turns his head towards the doctor without remembering who he was. "I am Dr. Fred Mueller, me and a colleague stitched you back together. I want you to stay calm and answer me a few questions." Erwin nods and he calms down slowly now after the injection was in his system. His heart rate goes down to normal again and he had less pain sitting and breathing now. While Dr. Mueller examines the state of Erwins wounds he questioned the man.
"Do you know your name? "
"No. I... I can't."
"It is Erwin Smith." Erwin nods, but this name does not ring a bell at all. It feels strange and foreign to him, but if the doctor says so it must be his name. His head was still hurting and his eyes dart away again from the doctor towards Levi examining his face closely.
"Do you remember him? " Erwin shakes his head slowly. He can't remember him, but he sure got a certain attraction to him, because everytime he was unsure or needed something to fix his gaze on it was Levi's face. Every now and then he would look over the males body wondering about the belts on his legs.
"What is the first thing you remember?" While Erwin answer slowly, Fred takes a closer look at Erwins face checking how his reflexes are and if his body functions the way it should.
"The first thing? Seeing to sun descend into the sea." That was unexpected. Fred looks puzzled towards Levi asking silently if Erwin has ever seen the sea. The body of the big blonde was perfectly fine given the circumstances, but it seems as if his mind had taken a huge hit.

Quietly he talks to Levi.
"You need to be very cautious right now with him. We don't know yet if this amnesia is temporary, but he needs care now, however, please refrain from telling him too much. We don't want the memories to hit him all at once, that could cause an even bigger damage than he suffers now. Keep in your mind, he can be very different from the Erwin you know right now. He never faced the perils he had before this war, he might react different than he would have in the past. He could even be more sensitive than before. Be patient and most of all kind." He puts a certain highlight to the last word, but given that Levi was here the whole time, he doubts that he would be awful to Erwin. These two are strange indeed. Over the past week he wondered if they had something like a relationship before but he shakes that thought off now and goes out of the room again, saying again, that if there is anything wrong he should call for him immediately.
Erwin looks at Levi a little bit like a child, but with a much more confused and worried expression in his face, His very present eyebrows are furrowed together forming a deep crest between them as he tries to wrap his mind around the situation. A small breath to ease the hard time escapes his lips and he looks at his hand again.
"Can you tell me what exactly happened?"

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Levi frowned when he was told to open the window to let in some fresh air. He got up nonetheless and walked towards the window, he unlocked the frame and started to lift the window up as for as he could. When he turned around to face the two, he saw a gentle hand on Erwin's arms. His face grew dark as stared daggers into the doctor's back.

He headed back to his chair when the doctor let go of Erwin arms. It wasn't until recently that he had a desire to protect Erwin as he knew he didn't need to before. Erwin was able to protect himself, at least that was his opinion before Erwin lost his right arm. There was one gesture that always did make Levi alert and that was one of affection. The doctor's touch had made Levi feel like he was ready to kill. And his stare on the doctor after that wasn't at all subtle.

When he had to hear that Erwin didn't remember him again, his jaw clenched as he hid his personal feelings towards the comment. His eyes widened when Erwin said he saw the ocean. He turned his head to look at Erwin's face
'How? He never even saw it.'
He remembered Erwin had shown him pictures from a book he had. Drawings of a large mass of water with no land on the other side.
"No." He frowned
"We never saw the ocean."
He crossed his arms and he stared at the doctor.

When the doctor told him that Erwin may not remember his past at all, his heart sunk. HIS Commander may not come back. He shook his head when he said that,
"He'll come back soon."
He looked over at Erwin when he said that. He couldn't let Erwin's memory die, he still had so much to do.

When Erwin asked what happened, he didn't know what to say to that.
"You were so brave, Erwin. You rode your horse towards the threat but.. Well, you are here because if your injuries."
He didn't know how much he was allowed to say, if he could talk about the titans. But a memory from that day hit him like a rock.
'He is free.' He thought to himself.
Erwin Smith was no longer the 'Devil' he had to be to save humanity. He was a man and free to be so, at least for now. He had a new goal, help Erwin be at peace with himself.
"It's Ok now. You are safe, you don't need to worry about the war anymore."
He smiled, just a enough for Erwin to see it.
"Don't worry about it. Let me get you something to eat. You haven't eaten in days."
He got up off the chair and walked to the door.
" If anyone comes in while I am gone."
His eyes narrowed.
"Kick them out. Only I am allowed in here."
He lied, he had to if he wanted to keep his spot by Erwin's bed.

He walked out of the room and went straight to the kitchen where the cooks were preparing for that night's meal. He ordered something special for Erwin. Meat, vegetables and wine, all things the corps saved for special events. In Levi's opinion, this was a special event, Erwin was alive.

While they made the meal for them, he headed back to the hospital room and went back to his post. Once again, watching over Erwin like a mother hawk.
"The food is getting cooked. It should be ready in less than an hour."
He said as his eyes drifted over to Erwin.