sworn to silence → lashton ✓

seven

Luke's POV

I was full on sobbing by the time Ryan finished, obviously he'd raped me before but never like this. He'd never been so rough before, but the pain from that didn't hurt as much as seeing Ashton leave me here, without even letting me explain what had happened.

Feeling rough hands on my back, I was turned over so that I was looking up at Ryan, large tears still rolling down my cheeks and I knew there'd probably be a large bruise on my face. He looked down at my neck and smiled, "Everyone is going to know you're mine, Luke. Ashton and your friends are going to think you're a slut and you are going to be stuck with me forever because it's all you're good for."

I didn't respond, because what was the point? The damage was already done, what he said now couldn't possibly make me feel any worse.

Refusing to make eye contact, I looked off to the side as more tears slipped down my face. Ryan then gripped my face so that I was forced to look at him, "You're mine, Luke. Don't you forget it."

Once Ryan let me go, I left the house and immediately texted Ashton.

– Sent:  Ash please, it wasn't what it looked like – 

No response.

  – Sent: I'll tell you everything if you answer me –  

No response.

– Sent: Ashton, please. I need you and what I will tell you is something I honestly shouldn't but you need to know, please reply -

Again, I got no response, and I tried to not get upset over the fact he was ignoring me when I needed him. Why didn't he care?

Because you're worthless and a slut. He thinks you're a slut.

Tears made their way down my face as I thought about how Ashton didn't care, by the time I got home my face was red and my eyes were puffy. I tried sneaking upstairs before I got called in by my mum and finally, something went right for me.

Getting to my bedroom unnoticed, I quickly shut the door and checked my phone again for messages. Nothing. 

Deciding to call him, I nervously waited for an answer but all I got was a message telling me the number was unavailable right now. Sliding down the door, I let more tears fall. Why didn't he care?

Throughout the whole weekend, I received no texts or calls from Ashton, Calum or Michael even though I'd rang and texted all three of them. This was why I'd spent the weekend crying in my room and harming myself. It was the only release from the pain of seemingly losing my only friends, they didn't care about me anymore and that cut deeper than any self-inflicted wound. 

Going to school on the Monday was hard, I was really nervous about seeing Ryan but I was actually more worried about how Ashton was going to react at seeing me. If he only let me explain then this weekend probably would have been a lot different.

Shakily walking into school, my eyes scanned the corridors hoping to see my friends but I saw no one. The same occurred when I was at my locker; apparently they were ignoring me.Walking into my class, I saw Ashton already sat down and I hesitated before going to sit next to him.

"Ash-" I tried but was quickly cut off,

"No, just save it Luke." He snapped, but I was quite ready to give up yet.

"Ash, you don't understand, it wasn't what you thought." I tried again but he shook his head, turning his attention to me briefly.

"Well it looked pretty clear to me so don't try lie." Ashton glared at me.

"I'm not lying, I wasn't like that at all, Ryan-"

"I don't want to hear it Luke." Ashton cut me off again before getting up from his seat and moving towards the back whilst I just tried my best to hold my tears in.

When Calum and Michael walked in, they looked over to me but then saw Ashton sitting at the back and decided to go with that option, leaving me sat alone.

I told you they'd leave you, why didn't you listen? You're too stupid to listen that's why. You're stupid for believing they'd ever be there for you, look at them, over there pretending everything is fine. Everything is fine without you in the picture, you just hurt them, you're nothing to them, you never have and you never will be.

I tried my best to ignore my thoughts but I honestly couldn't, they were what I focused on when I was upset and I didn't have any distractions. Ashton was usually my distraction but today he was the one causing the thoughts.

I really needed my release.

Lunchtime came around and none of them had spoken to me beside from Ashton this morning, I felt like all I'd done all day was stare off into space through lessons, just trying to get through and not let myself start crying. However, that wasn't so easy when I got to my science lesson.

We'd picked our seats at the start of this year and we weren't allowed to move them, typically my seat was next to Ashton, but I just stared down at the table and did my best to ignore him.

"Luke?" His soft voice broke me from my thoughts, causing me to look up at him.

"Y-yeah?" I practically whispered. 

He bit his lip for a moment before saying, "I just want you to know I'm only sat here because I'm not allowed to move, I'm still mad at you." He informed me and I just nodded my head before focusing my gaze on the table again. 

I'd be lying if I said his words didn't hurt, no one wants to hear that one of your best friends is only sat with you because he has to and he would avoid you if he could. However, I just needed to know one thing, "D-did you get my texts?"

I didn't bother looking up when I asked the question, and I was glad when his response was, "What texts?"

"I-I sent some over the weekend, and I called you."

Ashton seemed to think over his answer before saying, "I haven't had my phone on all weekend."

Biting my lip once again, I just nodded my head and turned completely away from him so that he couldn't see my face; so he couldn't see my tears. I thought he'd been ignoring me but it was worse that he didn't even bother to try and check up on me, he really was mad at me and he wouldn't even let me explain what had happened. He didn't care. 

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A/N: Well, this is chapter 7. Honestly, I'm not sure if I like this personally but I'm going to stick with it. I'm not sure how many chapters this story will have but I'm hoping it's about 15 – 20 so yeah, there's still quite a few and a lot to get through.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and want to keep on reading. I'll try my best to make updates better, they've been pretty crappy lately in my opinion.

Goal: 20 – 25 votes, 10 – 15 comments xx Thanks for reading.