sworn to silence → lashton ✓

thirteen

Ashton's POV

"Luke? Lu, please open your eyes." My forehead was on his, one hand stroking his cheek and the other grasping his tightly. Tears were flowing down my cheeks, some fell and hit Luke but I didn't care, he probably couldn't feel it.

Luke breathing was soft and it terrified me because even Luke thought he wouldn't wake up from this which was probably his aim but that only made me more upset, I wasn't there for him when he needed me and I let this happen. I let whatever problems he had get to him and one of those problems was me, I made him like this.

The ambulance had come and taken Luke to hospital where they had stitched up his wounds, etc, to try and make him as stable as possible but it didn't stop me worrying. He looked deathly pale and I was honestly worried he wouldn't make it; I needed him to make it.

Calum and Michael had both come to visit Luke and of course, both were upset and Calum was somewhat angry at me for thinking it was my fault which I already believed. However, they had to leave soon after and Calum made me promise to call him when Luke woke because he wanted to see him.

After they left, I was left alone with Luke again and I was left to fill the silence on my own.

"I wish you'd wake up Lu, I know it's only been a few hours but I need to see that you're okay." I pressed my lips to his hand, kissing it. "I want to hear you say you love me again, it felt so good Luke despite the situation, I never thought I'd hear you say those words and although we kissed it, I didn't think you'd actually love me." I moved so I could lean my forehead on his again.

"Please open your eyes Lukey, I want to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours, the ones that captivate me. Wake up Lukey, please? I want you to be able to feel this." Leaning down, I then pressed my lips to his hoping to have a cliché fairy tale where Luke would wake up but sadly he didn't, his lips were unmoving.

Pulling away, I looked at him sadly before going to sit down in the chair near his bed but I kept hold of his hand which was more for my comfort, not his.

---

Squeezing of my hand woke me from my slumber, which I was unaware that I'd fallen into, and I looked up to see Luke with his eyes squeezed shut and his hand balled up into a fist with his other one gripping my hand very tightly.

"Luke? You're awake! But what's wrong?" I got up from my chair and started to run my fingers through his hair. 

"I'm just in a lot of pain." His breathing was jagged.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to get the doctor to give you painkillers?" I spoke quickly, my worry showing.

Shaking his head, he said, "I'll be fine."

Letting out a deep sigh, I leaned over to kiss his forehead, "You had me so worried."

"I'm sorry." He looked sad but then closed his eyes, letting a tear fall.

"Hey hey, don't cry." I wiped a tear from his eye, "You're going to be okay, it's going to be fine."

He started shaking his head, "No, no it's not."

"Why Luke? What's going on?" My worry was growing, there was something going on that he wasn't telling me about, something that obviously frightened him.

"He's going to come for me, I'm going to be in trouble for not seeing him in days, and he's going to hurt me." Luke was now tugging at his hair and panicking, I was utterly confused.

"Luke, just breathe okay?" He followed my actions of taking deep breaths in and out. He calmed down and I grabbed his face so he'd looked at me, "Luke, what's going on?"

"I can't tell you, he'll hurt me and you."

"Luke, nothing is going to happen if you tell me, I promise to protect you."

"You can't." He looked as though he was ready to cry again, I stroked his cheeks.

"Luke, is whatever you won't tell me the reason you did this to yourself?" I motioned to his cuts.

He slowly nodded and I brought him into a hug, his face was in my shoulder and I let him cry into me. "Luke, please tell me, I want to help you. You almost died because of this so please tell me what's going on." I begged him.

"But I wanted to die, Ashton, don't you see? I can't take the pain anymore, the constant pain. I'm going insane and I just can't cope anymore, it'd be better off without me."

"No, Luke, don't say that because I'd be lost without you, I wouldn't know what to do. I can't lose you Luke." Leaning in, I then kissed him before he could say anymore.

"What was that for?" He asked once I'd pulled back.

"I just want you to know how much I like you Luke and that I'm going to be here for you and I'll support you with whatever you're going through, especially with the whole cutting and attempted suicide thing."

"Thank you." He whispered and I kissed him again before pulling him to my chest and cradling him as best as I could with me being stood up.  After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up, "I think I should tell you, Ashton."

"About what?"

"About why I cut and why I want to die."

I didn't say anything for a moment, processing what he said and knowing I was going to have to listen closer to every word he said next, "Alright, go ahead."

"Just promise me you won't let him hurt me?" Luke looked genuinely worried at me and I leaned in to kiss him again,

"I promise."

"This may be a little hard for you to hear."

---------------

A/N: Ok so I had a little bit of inspiration to start this chapter but it just got progressively worse as it went along so I'm sorry it's crap. But, I didn't kill off Luke! I'm not that mean :P

I'm sorry this is a little boring, I guess, in terms of last chapter but I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless and Ashton is finally going to find out about Ryan so next chapter will hopefully be more interesting for you guys.

Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it despite it being crap.

 P.S Do you think I should give dedications to people? I feel like because so many of you comment I should but I don't know if you guys think that's a good idea or not? I just don't want to look like I'm favouring people or something

Goal: 45 votes and 25 comments xx