sworn to silence → lashton ✓

twelve

Warning: Contains self-harm/attempted suicide

Ashton's POV

"Look, it's okay, I understand but it doesn't matter because I'm done."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Done? What do you mean?"

"Goodbye Ashton."

Luke's words to me kept swimming around in my head all night, 'I'm done....goodbye Ashton.' I couldn't understand what he meant, what does he mean he's done?

Lying in my bed, I started running my hands through my hair and squeezing my temples trying to come up with an idea but I had nothing. I had absolutely no idea what Luke meant and it was driving me insane, especially since he hadn't replied to my texts either.

"What do you mean Luke?" I mumbled to myself and sighed before turning over and trying to get some sleep. I barely slept and when I did, my dreams were filled with images of Luke.

---

I arrived at school the next day, tired from the lack of sleep but also worried because Luke wasn't in school. Where the hell was he? If he was ill then he usually texts Calum or Michael but neither of them had received anything from Luke and that in itself was worrying.

Tapping my fingers on the desk, I was eager to finish the lesson so I could text Luke. I knew I had been an absolute twat the past few days towards Luke but it didn't mean I didn't care about him, him being with Ryan had hurt me a lot but I loved Luke and I wanted to try and help him because what kind of a friend would I be if I let him go off with Ryan who was an even bigger knob than me?

Seeing him so upset had worried me, he never cried in front of people, so him crying in front of me and Calum must mean something was up. I just didn't want to admit that I knew that to Calum or Michael.After the lesson, I again got no response from Luke and so I asked Calum and Michael again.

"Have either of you heard from Luke?"

"No." Both said in sync.

"Why? Is there something wrong with him?" Calum was now worried but looked somewhat angry at me.

"I don't know, he's just not here and yesterday he said something about being done and then said goodbye."

"Goodbye is pretty final." Michael said.

Calum's and I's face immediately drained of colour when realisation hit us, "Go to him, go to his house now." Calum spoke and I nodded before getting up.  

Rushing out of the room, I raced towards my car and I drove to Luke's house, praying I wasn't too late. I tried called Luke again when I was driving, which was stupid on my part, but I needed to know Luke was ok but he didn't answer.

"For fuck sake, Luke!" I grumbled when he didn't pick up, my worry increasing by the second.

"Please be okay, please be okay." I kept mumbling to myself throughout the car journey, I honestly don't know what I'd do if Luke was hurt or even worse, he means so much to me and I was completely stupid for treating him the way I did. Maybe this was my fault.

Pulling up at the house, I ran up to the door and tried the handle to see if it was open and thankfully, it was. The house was quiet except for some sobs which I could hear coming from upstairs. Luke.

Taking the steps 2 at a time, I was in Luke's room in a matter of seconds and I was just in time to see him with blood spilling from his thighs and wrists and sobs wracking his body. "Luke!" His head shot up and his eyes met mine before more sobs let his mouth, "Oh my god, Luke!" I rushed over to him and tried to take his arm but he moved it away.

"What do you want, Ashton?" Luke was speaking softly, as if it took a lot of effort to even talk.

"Luke, I came to help you."

"Why do you care?"

"Because you're my friend."

Luke then started shaking his head, "I'm not worth it." Some tears fell from his eyes, "Honestly Ashton, just go. I deserve this." He then dropped his head and let more tears fall.

"Don't say that Luke, you're so worth it and I'm not going to leave you." I brought my hands up to his cheeks and lifted his head to look at me.

"But you did leave me, remember? At the party?" Luke then stood up and moved to the middle of the room.

With the blood loss, I was worried he would fall so I stood up after him. "You left me to be broken by him and you left me to allow him to push me over the edge."

"Luke, I don't understand." My eyes met his tear-filled ones.

"I love you Ashton." Luke whispered before falling to the floor and clutching his head, the blood loss obviously affecting him. Rushing to him, I got him in my arms and cradled him close to me. His eyes then started to close.

"No, no, Luke, look at me, open your eyes." I tapped his cheek and his looked up at me. "Hang on, Luke, you have to hang on. I'm calling an ambulance and you're going to be okay. You can't leave me." Tears were now flowing down my face as I dialled for an ambulance.

After making the phone call and pressing cloth down to Luke's wounds, I dropped my phone and stroked Luke's face to make sure he was still with me; he looked up at me again.

"I love you too, Luke okay? I love you too so you can't leave me, please don't leave me." I begged him and a tear slipped from his eye as his breathing slowed down.

"Goodbye, Ash" He breathed out before closing his eyes and it was then that I broke down into sobs.

---------------

A/N: Don't hate me? I know I left it on a cliff-hanger of sorts so please don't hate me.

What do you guys think? I know I made myself sad when I was writing it so in a weird little way I hope it made you sad too.

Anyway, thanks for reading, I appreciate it and the support is amazing so thank you. I love you all xx

 P.S Updates may be a little regular whilst I'm feeling ok but honestly, depends on my mood.

Goal: 40 – 45 votes and 20 – 25 comments xxx