sworn to silence → lashton ✓

sixteen

Michael's POV

"Hi guys." I greeted Ashton and Calum when I opened my front door, they both smiled at me before making their way into my house. 

Walking into the living room, the pair followed me before sitting down on the couch, "What did you want to talk about?" Ashton questioned as he sat down. 

"It's about Luke." I said, standing in front of both of them rather than sitting down. 

"What about him?" Ashton asked.

I paused for a minute, taking a deep breath before saying, "I'm not sure how you're going to take this but I knew about his self-harm." I knew the pair were going to be annoyed at me and I had somewhat mentally prepared myself for an outburst before they'd arrived. But preparing for something in your head and then actually seeing the reaction in real life weren't the same thing. 

Calum seemed to give Ashton a shocked look before saying, "Why the hell did you not mention it?!" He was rightfully quite angry. 

"I just didn't know how to." I looked down, feeling quite intimidated by my friend.

"So you let him suffer alone whilst you knew? What kind of a friend are you?!" Calum yelled again and I shrunk back a little.

"A shit one, I know that, I'm sorry." I tried apologising, knowing that it didn't make much difference now because if I'd mentioning something sooner then we could have found out about Ryan sooner and avoided Luke attempting to end his life. 

I couldn't take that back now though, no matter how much I wanted to. 

"Did you know about Ryan too?" Calum then asked, almost accusingly.

I felt slightly offended at the question but could understand it from his point of view that if I knew about his self half then what else was I hiding. However, I really didn't know about Ryan because if I did then I wouldn't tried putting an end to that a long time ago, "No! I swear I didn't know that, if I did I would have mentioned it."

"I can't believe you kept it quiet though, Mikey, why?" Calum sighed.

"I just didn't know what to say because I knew he'd freak out and I didn't want to somehow make it worse and I get that by not telling I did actually make it worse but I never thought he'd try to kill himself and I had absolutely no idea about Ryan." I was almost crying by now, desperately trying to get them to forgive me.

Calum then stood up and pulled me into a hug, "It's alright Mike, what's done is done."

Ashton then stood up and moved closer to the pair of us, his hand rubbing at my back, "I agree with Calum, don't beat yourself up, all we can do now is be there for Luke and make sure we make Ryan pay for what he's done to Luke." 

I then pulled away from Calum before nodding and saying, "I need to tell Luke though, I just thought it'd be best to do it separately just in case any of you took it badly, I knew you'd react differently if Luke was upset or angry so." He trailed off at the end.

"It's okay, we'll wait outside the room for you to tell him just in case he does get upset. It'll be fine, mate." Ashton reassured me, and I nodded before smiling slightly, Ashton did the same back.

---

"Go on, it'll be fine." Ashton gently pushed me to Luke's hospital room and I took a breath before going in and closing the door behind me.

"Michael!" I turned around at the sound of Luke's voice.

"Michael, I need to-" Luke began but I cut him off,

"No, Luke, I need to tell you something now."

"But-"

"No, please just let me get this off my chest before it eats me alive." Luke sighed but nodded anyway, "I may as well just come straight out and say out, I knew you self-harmed." I bit my lip, worried for his reaction.

"H-how?" He stuttered out.

"I saw your wrists one time when we were doing PE, you weren't quick enough to cover them and I saw." 

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to make you worse somehow and I didn't know whether you wanted me to know and if you'd be upset so I just didn't say anything." I looked down at my hands, ashamed.

"It's okay, Michael, honestly but I really need to talk to Ashton."

I walked up to him and hugged him, happy he didn't mind. "I'm so glad you're not mad at me, I was really worried."

"Michael would you please listen to me?" Luke asked as we still hugged.

"Sorry, what's wrong?" I pulled away from him.

"It's about Ryan, please, I need to talk to Ashton." Luke looked somewhat worried and so I did as he asked and went to get Ashton.

"How did he take it?" Ashton asked the second I walked out of the room.

"It's all good but he's asking for you, apparently he needs to talk to you about Ryan." I informed him and he got up from where he was sat and quickly entered Luke's room, shutting the door behind him.

"What about Ryan?" Calum asked me after Ashton left but I shrugged, not knowing the answer.

Calum sighed as I sat down next to him, I could tell he was upset about this whole situation and I really couldn't blame him. He was always a little protective over Luke and I know that by him not noticing what was happening with Luke that he feels like he's let Luke down.

"I'm really worried about him." Calum confessed and I brought him into a side-hug.

"We all are."

"We still going to beat Ryan's arse?" Calum asked with a laugh.

"We definitely are."

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A/N: So I know this is kind of short but I didn't want to make you wait too long for this seen as how it's boring and pretty uneventful, I just needed to put in why Michael was acting funny but there you have it. You now know.

This book may be longer than I expected but I don't think you lot will mind that much so don't worry, it's not finished yet.

Anyway, thank you again for the support, I hope you liked this; the next chapter will probably be more interesting.

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