If I Can't Have You... (An EXO fan fiction)

Chapter Eleven

I woke up to puffy eyes. They were really ruining the dynamic on my face, considering I never sleep late. I was up all night rearranging the last few songs and I fell asleep on the table. I never drool, so the music score was only a little crumpled.

I rubbed my eyes and checked my phone for the time. And I was awake instantly. It was 9 a.m. Out of all days, why did my biological clock betray me today? I gathered all scores and my pencil and rummaged them into my bag. I grabbed any kind of clothing and ran straight into the bathroom downstairs. I didn't notice anyone's presence and take a quick shower. I brushed my teeth under one minute and lathered on a liter of mouthwash to mask the odor of morning breath.

When I got out of the shower, I thought it felt weird. It was very quiet. It was weird for a house to be this calm, especially with eight hyperactive boys residing under it. I went into the kitchen and found a note on the fridge.

"Soojin-ah, we had to leave early to record the second and third song, and we didn't want to wake you up so if you have woken up, just ring +82-xxx-xxx-xxx and he will pick you up and take you to the agency. See you~" was written on the sticky note.

I never overslept in my entire life, and I felt embarrassed to oversleep. It felt like I wasn't working as hard as they did. I should've at least set an alarm, I cursed myself.

I did not bother calling the number and just took a bus to the agency. I didn't want to act like a diva. I should know my place. I wasn't an idol so I didn't need any special treatment.

I ran to the bus station while clutching my bag. I looked like a mess. I looked at my watch and it showed 10 a.m, I didn't know how late I was so I just rushed. The bus arrived and a lot of people fought to get a seat. The bus was crowded, as usual, so I just stood and balanced myself on the handrail.

The trip was uncomfortable because there was so many people and the road was bumpy. Everyone had to squeeze against each other in the narrow space and I was having difficulty breathing as well.

The bus stopped and I got off the station and rushed to my destination. I ran and stopped a while to catch my breath. I noticed my shoelaces were untied so I crouched down to tie them. I set aside my bag on the floor and when I was finished tying the shoelaces, I noticed my bag was unsealed. The zipper was opened.

I felt a surge of panic and quickly searched the messy contents. At that moment, I didn't care if I lost my phone or my wallet. I looked for the music score.

They were gone.

Not a single sheet was there.

I could feel myself go white. I kept thinking, did I bring it with me? I was sure I brought it with me today. It was the first thing I made sure before leaving the house. Did someone steal it? It was worthless to most people, why didn't they take my phone or my wallet? I kept thinking hard.

It occurred to me. During the bus ride, it was crowded. While I ran to the bus station, I didn't zip my bag and just clutched it as I got on the bus. Then people started swarming the place and we had to squeeze against each other. When I got out of the bus, it must've fallen. That's the only explanation I could think of.

I couldn't think straight. My hard work went in vain, just because of my clumsiness. I was crouching on the pavement and I just wanted to cry of frustration. To reproduce the song wouldn't be an easy path, because I wrote the original song a long time ago, and I only made some new arrangements and improvisation. Suddenly my vision was blurred from the tears.

How could I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I hit myself up as the tears wouldn't stop.

I was afraid to face them. I knew for a fact they would scold me if they knew I took the bus instead of listening to their suggestion. All I wanted that day was to be swallowed into the earth.