If I Can't Have You... (An EXO fan fiction)

Chapter Twenty Nine

Right? Kyungsoo would be happy for me, right?

"Soojin-ah, let me go down on my own first and then, you follow a few minutes later, and we'll break the news to the members tomorrow. What do you think?", Suho looked at me with hopeful expression. He reached for both of my hands and raised them.

I hesitated. I wondered if we should tell the members about us. Of course I wanted to date in the open, but I was also afraid that it would make things hard for Suho. I was afraid that the dynamics inside the house might change. Suddenly I was thinking too much.

"Soojin-ah? What's wrong?", he asked me again.

"Oppa, do you think it's best if we keep this to ourselves first? I don't mean to hide it from everyone, but think about it. Us dating would really shift the mood in the house. The members might feel awkward to talk to me since they know we are dating, and I want to maintain a solid friendship with everyone. I also don't want our relationship to leak to the public which will make your position difficult as an idol.", I elaborated my stance. I personally thought that announcing our dating during their comeback wouldn't be wise, especially when it was a chance to gain more fans.

"Hmm, you have a point there. I also don't want to make things hard for you, especially you don't have the experience to battle the vicious criticism from the fans.", he chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Alright, let's keep this concealed for the time being.", he smiled again, "then I should head down first. See you.", he reached for the doorknob and winked at me before closing the door.

I sat on his bed, in a daze, and then I laid down on the soft sheets, squealing in glee and excitement as my mind recapped what just happened 10 minutes ago. I pinched my cheeks. Was it a dream? Of course it wasn't a dream right?

There was a burden lifted off of my chest and I felt elated, but there was another burden forming. I gripped my chest and tried to calm the hammering of it against my ribcage. This felt really new to me. I have never fallen in love before, or maybe like someone to this extent. I didn't know what to do, what to say, how to feel and sort out the jumbled up hormones building up in my neurons.

My thoughts drifted to Kyungsoo. How would he respond to this? I wanted him to support my decision too, but there was a foreign feeling in my stomach that my happy ending did not start here. It was just a gut feeling, but it made its presence noticeable.

I decided to shrug it off and reassess it back when I was in complete solitary. I reached the doorknob and headed down the stairs. The kitchen was bustling with activity—Kai helping Kyungsoo to chop the cabbages, while Kyungsoo holding the frying pan and sautéing mixed vegetables. Jongdae and Xiumin were mixing drinks and having fun with the cocktail mixer. Sehun helped Suho set the table, while Baekhyun and Chanyeol bickered at the next menu that Kyungsoo should cook. I smiled a serene smile as I looked at this view. This wonderful chemistry. I could never imagine to ever lose them.

"Oh, Soojin-ah. Why does your face look so flushed?", Baekhyun noticed my presence and pointed out the obvious. Of course, the straightforward Byun Baekhyun.

"Earlier I saw Suho-hyung's face looked the same. Did something happen upstairs?", Sehun wiggled his eyebrows as he nudged Suho with his shoulders.

"Seolma...did you two kiss or what!???", Baekhyun started to stir the pot as he threw that wild guess out in the open. Everyone started cheering and suddenly there was a loud commotion in the kitchen.

"Nothing happened, oh my goodness...I look like this because it's quite hot down here, no?", I started fanning my face to cool down the heat. Stupid blood. Stop rushing to my cheeks.