If I Can't Have You... (An EXO fan fiction)

Chapter Twenty Eight

I kept my eyes shut even when I was inside his room. I couldn't feel another presence in his room, so maybe he was on the phone with Eunha. Slowly, I opened my eyes and raised my head to face him.

He looked at me with much surprise. He raised both of his eyebrows at my presence.

"S...soojin-ah, why are you here?", he stuttered a little as he called my name. I wanted to cry after listening my name being called by him. I missed the feeling so much.

"Suho, no, Junmyeon. I have something to say to you.", I could feel my voice tremble. I clenched my fists to bring me strength.

"I...first of all, I'm sorry if I told you to get lost. I didn't mean any of that. In fact, if you get lost, I know I'll be lost too. In the end, you're the light between oceans. You're the one I come back to. You're the light at the end of the tunnel. I was upset at you, at your ignorance, at your tenderness even though I treated you badly. When you left that day, I regretted everything I said instantly. I hated myself for that. I wanted to beat myself up for saying those horrible things to you."

"I wanted to call you, I wanted to ask you not to leave but I couldn't. I know you'll break my heart. That's why I was so afraid of expressing my feelings. I'm not used to blatant confessions. I'm an awkward person, and I'm immature. But today, I want to grow out of that immature shell. I want to be able to say what's inside my heart this whole time.", I took a deep breath.

"I like you, Kim Junmyeon. I like everything about you. I like your generosity, I like your humbleness, I like your determination, I like your passionate trait, I like you. And I know I'm too late to say this, but I just want you to know. I don't want to be a coward for the rest of my life.", my tears started falling from my eyes. My vision was blurred by my tears and I was ashamed at myself. At the end, my walls crumbled down in front of the man I like.

He got up from his position and he walked towards me. He pulled me into his embrace and I hugged him back. His hand caressed my hair tenderly, his chin rested on top of my head. I felt warm inside his embrace. I never wanted to break off of his arms.

He broke off the embrace first and he held my face with both of his arms. He wiped off my tears with both of his thumbs.

"Stop crying. Why are you crying, beautiful?", his voice soothed me.

"Because, I know you're in love with someone else.", I answered with a strained voice.

"Someone else? Who do you think it is?", he asked again.

"The nurse back at the hospital. You tensed up when you first saw her. She called you oppa. She said she still loves you. You were meeting her earlier today. You were calling her just now. You two will make a good couple.", my tears seemed to fall harder. I tried to suppress my sob.

"You noticed all those stuff?", he chuckled a little.

"Stop laughing, Kim Junmyeon. It's not funny. I just expressed my whole feelings at you and you still treat me like I'm a kid. Well I'm not!", I broke free from his hands.

"Soojin, let's sit down first. I want to clear all misunderstandings you have.", he was so calm. He directed me towards his bed and we both sat on the edges.

Misunderstandings?

"So, a lot happened these few days. First of all, I am NOT in love with Choi Eunha. We used to be childhood friends, until she decided to ditch me for my best friends. I was an idiot and I couldn't forget her for almost 2 years. She had a huge impact on me. Can you imagine your best friend tossed you aside to be with your other best friend? I really hated both of them, so I debuted. I just found out that one or two years after I debuted, Choi Eunha, who was still a nurse-in-training, moved to our hospital. I recently just found out because my father was one of the shareholders of that hospital. A minor one, though."