If I Can't Have You... (An EXO fan fiction)

Chapter Seventeen

Chanyeol took me to the roof to have "the talk". I was getting so nervous because if it was nothing serious, we would've talked inside the house. His back was facing mine as he put both of his hands into his jumper pocket.

"What is it, Chanyeol?", I started the conversation. My heart was beating fast, and my mind ran to all the bad things I'd done or said to them. Was he here to scold me? Calm down, Soojin, listen to him first.

"Are you really that blunt, Sandals?", he turned around to face me. His expression was unreadable but he had a devilish smirk on his face.

"What do you mean? I don't understand.", I answered honestly because I really didn't have an idea about all this.

"That song you wrote...what did you think about when you wrote it?", he asked as he slowly walked towards me.

I thought long and hard. I remembered being so lonely in the house, and missing the members' riotous laughter and mischievous behavior. I pressed my brain about the lyrics. Did I write it wrong? Were there inappropriate words?

"I guess I just reached into my deepest emotions and poured it out to my music sheets(?)", I left that tone hanging because I didn't know what else to make up.

"Careful, Sandals, the members are slowly catching up. And be sure to make up your mind on who you will be choosing.", he finally smiled sincerely, "ah, right, I almost forgot. If you'd decided neither of them, could you also consider me?", he tapped my shoulder quickly and he went down.

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I walked down slowly from the third floor, trying to make as little sound as possible. I tiptoed on the stairs but the adrenaline was rushing to my heart in such a rapid rate.

I'm in deep trouble, I thought to myself.

After reaching the door to my room, I opened it without any creaking and rushed inside and locked the door behind me. I reached for my music scores, didn't care if I rummaged some pages and searched for that music score. I finally found it and held it in front of my face.

I read the lyrics word by word and connecting each piece of puzzle that Chanyeol had presented me.

The look on Kyungsoo's face.

The speechless expression of Suho.

The fuse in my brain disconnected.

By any chance, did the members...think that...I...CONFESSED to either one of them!? I wanted to scream but I couldn't so I shrieked inaudibly. I hit myself up for being the worst idiot in the planet. Why...why out of all songs I'd written, I chose THAT one to sing in front of them?

It was purely unintentional, I didn't mean to lead them on. I didn't even realize this song was some-kind-of confession song. I stared at my bleak presence in the mirror.

"You...are such an idiot. A fool!", I pointed at myself in the mirror and shook my head against the pillow. No wonder they all thought I was blunt. I didn't properly analyze the song and the situation and that's what I got.

A bomb thrown directly to my face.

How could I possibly face both of them again? I couldn't believe I would do this to both of them, who were so precious to me. I wanted to clear the misunderstanding but I couldn't do that without making myself look like an utter moron.

I paced around my room to think of a solution. A win-win solution. I thought of running away in the middle of the night? But no, I would look like a coward. Or should I say it wasn't actually my song? No, they would think I plagiarized someone else's work.