If I Can't Have You... (An EXO fan fiction)

Chapter Four

I snapped out of my daydream. Wait, SM actually wanted to hire me? A good-for-nothing, super ordinary girl, a nobody who still had lots to learn? They actually wanted me to write songs for EXO's upcoming winter album? Before I could answer Suho's question, two men in a black suit came in carrying a black folder and handed it to me. I opened the hard board and I encountered some sort of contract. They wanted to hire me OFFICIALLY? I thought they must be joking so I let out a small laugh. They all looked as if I grew another hand.

"What? Are any of you serious right now? I don't know the first thing on composing a proper song and you want me to work with the world-known EXO? It's October, not April, so I wasn't fooled.", I crossed my hands with disbelief.

"Soojin-ah, these men are not kidding. We really think your music is fresh and it feels...innocent. I could feel your passion when I listen to it earlier today.", Suho crouched down until we were the same eye level. Why did he keep doing that? Was he trying to woo me so I would agree to this absurd deal?

"Yes, Soojin. Suho sent us the recording of your guitar performance, and we think the CEO would approve of it. It was calling us out, to listen to your song, and it's got an X-factor.", the producer, Kim Byul, convinced me. I wasn't moved at all. Any fool would never agree to all this, not before you know the contractor well, you would never sign the contract, or whatever was inside that folder.

"I'm flattered, but I don't really think I can... If you said you wanted to buy my song, then it's another deal, but you're asking me to commit to such a huge enterprise, I don't think I'm qualified enough. I'm just a nineteen-year-old good-for-nothing ordinary person in South Korea. I'm sorry, but I won't be accepting the offer. Thank you for the opportunity.", I got off my chair and offered a deep bow to the men in the room. I opened the door, but my mind was hesitating. "Are you sure this is the right decision?", my mind kept asking, but I walked out of the room without looking back.

As I was on my way to the elevator, Suho called out my name and I looked back. He was panting but he managed to say a few words.

"Don't...leave...," he held up a finger as he tried to catch his breath," let the other guys listen to it. I know you'll change your mind when you see their reaction.", he looked at me as if I was the last hope for EXO's survival. I could reject a contract offer, but I couldn't not do him this small favor.

I nodded.

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We got into a practice room, where some of the guys were warming up by doing sit-ups and push-ups, some were doing self-vocal training, others were just to tease the other working members. Suho cleared his throat to catch their attention.

"Guys, you all remember Soojin from last night. So, let's just cut to the chase. The winter album is in need of help. Nothing has been set, not the music nor the music video, or album photoshoots. And it's October. So we're on a tight schedule. But luckily, I found Soojin, who writes incredible songs and expresses her passion beautifully. Kim Byul-ssi also heard her performance and he approved of it. Soojin needs a little convincing from you guys, so I asked her to play for you guys to listen and tell her what are your thoughts, okay?", he talked to his member like a mother. I admired that of him. He cared so much about his members, the group's image and wellbeing. He's very responsible.

"Well, Sandals, give us your best shot!", Chanyeol handed me his guitar. I grabbed it and my palms thud against the guitar body. I was about to play in front of so many musical genius, how was I not nervous!? I looked behind me for a stool to sit on, and before I knew it, Xiumin helped me out. I gave him a grateful smile.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled. I tried to calm my nerves.

"Relax, Sandals, I'm sure you'll do great.", Chanyeol held up both of his thumbs to me. And I was encouraged.

I played with better energy, better than I played before. I looked at all of them as I was playing. I sensed the room was filled with tiredness, anger, sadness, but most of all, passion. The look in their faces when they were doing music were surreal. It was like I was infected with the same energy and I played passionately. Writing music was my forte, it was the one thing I loved to do more than anything. During the play, I even managed to sing few of the lyrics I never got to write on paper. I ended the song with a low volume to add more drama. I set the guitar down carefully and lifted my head up to see their reaction. Their face went blank.

Was I that bad?

"Heol."

My face went pale because 'heol's weren't supposed to be good news.

"I'm sorry if it was bad.", I quickly got up and held my head down. I squirmed on my ground until somebody hugged me.

"That was beautiful. You really are our savior angel.", a soft voice echoed in my ears. He smelled like shampoo and cedarwood perfume. He let his embrace go and it was Suho. I could not feel my body. It was numbed by Suho's arms.

"Heol, Sandals, I...was totally...speechless. Please, please write our songs from now on! We never felt such dynamic with any collaboration before.", Baekhyun literally got on his knees and he held both of his hands to me.

"Yeah, it was amazing... I even got goosebumps.", Kai chimed in.

Everyone was crowding me and kept talking high of my performance but D.O. sat in the corner gloomily. I looked at him and our eyes met one second before he decided to look away. I wondered what his problem was. I always thought he was the best singer in EXO, but his stuck-up personality really threw me off. I knew he worked with lots of composers on his solo music, but he didn't have to be so hard on me on my first try.

"Thank you, guys. I felt a connection during that performance. It was an electric sensation I've never felt before but it thrilled me to play even better.", I accepted their praises. Not to gloat, but it was nice to be thought of highly and useful for once in my life.

"So, will you do it? Will you write our winter album?", Suho pleaded in his voice.

"We'll help you! I mean, I will because I am the perfect member here.", Chanyeol joked.

"What are you talking about, hyung, I am the heart and soul of EXO.", Sehun said while brushing his hair.

I laughed at their absurdity and listened to my heart. For once in my life, I felt at home. It was warm and inviting, it felt wrong to decline its welcome. Could I act spontaneous and just follow my heart?

My eyes searched for Suho's and when our eyes meet, I gave him a soft nod. His face beamed and he smiled the biggest smile I'd ever seen in my life.

I was led back to the conference room and there I was explained by the two men in black that this wasn't a contract whatsoever. It was just simply an official statement saying that I would be devoting my musical experience and creations to SM Entertainment and I was not to collaborate with other enterprises concerning musical compositions. It was also written in the subpoena that I was to be expected to mentor the EXO members to improve their songwriting skills and help to look after them, before, during and after work. It was explained that these subpoenas were made to better the EXO members in aspect of life and musical skills. However, there was one prohibition: I was urged NOT to interact with fans or anyone that might harm EXO's wellbeing, and NOT to leak out any information regarding comebacks or any information that might add up to EXO's disadvantage and all other major prohibitions that I just doze off at the end.

I grabbed the big heavy-inked pen and signed the paper. If this wasn't a contract then I wouldn't worry much about it. The two men gathered the papers and inserted them into the black folder and excused themselves out.

I looked at the blue sky from the high level of the building.

"Today, my life begins."

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Author's Note:

Hello guys! First, I'd like to apologize if I kind of made the producer's name up 😝 I haven't done a well research of it and I was kind of running out of time. Second, I think the story is progressing well :) what do you guys think? Please do leave a comment if there are areas that need some advice or critic😁

Thank you for the reads xx :))))