I Am Morgan

Chapter 37: Lost

Kelly's P.O.V.

It's snowing. And it's cold.

That's all I can take in from my surroundings.

Oh, and I'm walking toward the stairs of District 21. And my heart hurts, because the love of my life is missing and it's because someone's trying to hurt me. Which means... it's my fault.

"Hey, Kelly Severide." Keeler walks down the steps and anger bubbles up inside of me.

"Where's Jess?" I growl.

"Who?" He smirks playfully.

"Where is she?" I repeat, grabbing him by his neck and pushing him against the wall. I heard what Detective Lindsay said to me. He's a murderer, and he gets away with it every time. He's not taking Jess away from me.

"What? Hey!"

"Where the hell is she? I know you know something."

"Kelly!" Lindsay's voice shouts and she tugs at my arm.

"Huh? Where is she?" I continue my interrogation.

"Come on, let him go!"

"WHERES MY GIRLFRIEND?"

"Kelly! Come on." Lindsay shouts again and I regretfully let go of the weasel and he walks past me.

"She's been missing a day and a half, Erin. What the hell is that guy doing walking around free?" I ask the detective in front of me.

"I know," she replies. "Listen, you didn't hear this from me, but we're tracking his phone, his car, every move that's gonna lead us to Jess. If you push, he pushes back, and we never see her again."

I shake my head and walk away from her. I understand. But I don't want to talk. I want action to be taken to find Jess.

My mind doesn't think as I drive and I end up at Firehouse 51, waiting on the apparatus floor for our family to return from a call. As soon as they do I'm bombarded with questions and well wishes about Morgan, before I wind up in Boden's office with him, Dawson and Shay who are all as equally worried as I am.

I explain the situation to him. "CPD's on to something, but until Jess is found, I'd like—"

"Not another word," interrupts Boden. "You do what you got to do. Clarke has this under control."

"Appreciate it, Chief." I nod with genuine gratitude. "Thank you." I turn and open the door a fraction.

"Kelly," Chief's voice stops me. "We're gonna get her back."

I nod once, but I don't honestly know how much I believe that statement. When I leave the office I notice Herrmann leaning against the wall of the bullpen. His eyes look very slightly red and he's got a frown on his face. "Hey, man." I pat his shoulder on my way past but I don't stop walking until I hear his voice.

"You know she's like a daughter to me," he says. I don't know what to reply. "I just mean, you do... what you've gotta do."

I nod once in understanding. "You have my word."

My mind is made up. I can't stand around and wait like Intelligence want me to. I have to be proactive. I have to find her.

"Kelly. What- what are you doing?" Shay follows me with a little wobble in her sentence.

"Nothing, I'm... I'm good."

"Well, you look like a man on a mission to me. What's up?" She presses on.