My Enemy Is My Lover | Nash Grier

Chapter Thirty Nine

Chapter Thirty Nine

What was I thinking? Nash and I can't be friends without one of us almost throwing the other one over the edge with things that shouldn't be a big deal, but are because of the position we're in right now. This is all messing with my head and I don't know how much longer I'm able to hold up. I don't know what I could tell him, shit you know you can't tell him anything because he's probably just as confused as you are. I'm telling myself. But I just can't not be friends with him, if that makes any sense?

I thought things were going great but who am I fooling. We're practically drowning each other. "Um hey guys I know this is short notice, but since we all are on break, do you guys want to stay over tonight so this movie night doesn't have to be cut short?" I suggested, fuck what was I doing. Nash overnight is a terrible idea for us right now, but I want more time with him... and my friends.

Everyone simply agreed because they didn't want the night to end so soon as did I, as we continued to watch the rest of the movie.

Cassandra: you don't have to stay overnight if you think it's too uncomfortable for us, which is totally understandable...

I texted to Nash as I then set my phone done after pressing send. My phone then vibrates not too long after.

Nash: I'm fine, unless you don't want me here, which I would understand as well...

Cassandra: no, of course you're welcome to stay.

What was I doing with myself right now, I thought. I feel like I'm just confusing myself and Nash even more , but I couldn't help myself. I mean, I know what I might be getting myself into if Nash is staying over but I feel like we can resist ourselves , right? Well, maybe we just have to see.

Kidnapped was a pretty good movie overall, but it was a bit mellow dramatic for my taste. "So what other movie do you guys wanna watch?" I asked as I grabbed a slice of pizza. "Let's want a rom-com?" Jenni suggested with a shrug of unsureness. Most of us didn't mind it, because who doesn't love a good rom-com. We all then decided to watch How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, starring Cameron Diaz. Which, if you haven't seen it, it is about a guy and a girl that work for different magazines. The guy is a player and I'm not sure what you would categorize the girl as, but they end seeing each other at a bar or party, and while the guy is bet that he cannot keep a girl for more than 10 days, the girl is trying to write an article of how to lose a guy in 10 days. As they're both doing crazy and stupid things to one another to either lose the person and stay with the person, they end up falling for each other. I find it funny but adorable, therefore, a rom-com.

The little things that would happen throughout the movie somewhat reminded me of Nash, when we were together. And it kind of made me sad, but it was okay for me to reminisce in what was, and maybe what will be in time. I felt my phone vibrate once again, I thought it would've been Nash, but I was surprised to see Aaron's name pop up on my scene.

Aaron: I know this is really random to text you about right now, but would you like me to maybe come with you to your appointment for moral support?

Cassandra: I don't know, I mean of course, I would love some support, but just let me think about this okay?

Aaron: No worries :)

Aaron offering to come to support was really nice, but I think that maybe I should do this on my own. I mean, he's a good friend, but it's my health issues and if it happens to be something embarrassing, then I wouldn't want to be forced to tell anyone. He's the only one that knows so far that I'm even scheduling myself to see a doctor. I just have a lot of thinking to do is all. I sent Aaron a slight smile from across the long couch of friends.

**

We all had decided it was okay for us to call it a night after watching three movies, which is a new record for us because we all normally get sidetracked with conversations amongst each other. It actually felt pretty nice to just sit down and relax with a few friends and quietly watch a couple movies together. Well, sort of quiet, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days was pretty hilarious for us all.

I decided to excuse myself to go upstairs really fast to take a quick shower before I went to bed downstairs with everyone. I didn't feel like sleeping all sweaty and gross next to people. When I was picking out my pjs, I was surprised to see Nash come into view of my bedroom door. He just stood there staring, "Hi" I finally said with a giggle. "Are you lying to me?" Nash genuinely asked me, leaving me somewhat off guard and confused. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You and Aaron? Are you lying to me about you two?" Nash asked again, "Nash, I told you nothing is going on, I promise." Nash was silent.

"Aaron is just a good friend of mine. We got close when we went away to San Fran, because he listened to me and we had fun."

"What do you mean he listened to you?" Nash questioned, "He saw that I was down when we were leaving and I told him everything, about us. And he listened. He helped me learn how I should approach everything." I confessed. "You told him everything ?" Nash exaggerated the word. I just nodded, "What did he say?" Nash questioned again.

I let out a sigh, "he told me to go with what my heart guides me to."

"So what is your heart telling you to do?" Nash pushed, I wanted to just confess everything to him, but I don't think I can just yet. "It's telling me that I need to stop." I finally said, leaving Nash with a puzzled look on his face as there was also a linger of sadness. "It's telling me that I need to stop leading you on with these small gestures and give us the distance that we both need, in order for us to heal. It's telling me that I need to stop doing this because I know, inside of me, that this isn't fair for you. But it's also telling me not to let go of you." I expressed. "I'm just so confused, Nash." I let out.

"Cass, you don't have to be confused. You know and I know that I've fessed up to my mistake and I want to stay in your life, but that's only if you let me in." Nash said. "I know, but I'm still hurt, Nash. I thought that the trip would clear my head, but it didn't make any difference."

"What if you're always going to be hurt by me, Cass. What if you can't love me the same because of everything?" Nash states, leaving me a bit off guard.

"I-I don't know." I say as I walk into my bathroom to take the shower that I've been waiting to take since I've come upstairs.