Growing Pains ✔

Chapter 8

Jamie had sat quietly in the car all the way to school, barely murmuring goodbye to Julia and Andy when his mom dropped them off first. As he was about to get out of the car Charlotte put her hand on his arm stopping him.

'Jamie, you do know you can talk to me?'

He met her gaze, trying to read her eyes. There was concern there and something else, fear possibly. He shook his head, more at himself than her, he was looking for things that might not even be there.

'I'm fine mom,' he putting one foot out of the car.

'You didn't call your father,' she reminded him.

He looked away. 'I forgot, I got tied up with homework.' More like distracted reading her diary.

'Call him tonight, I don't want him thinking-' She stopped herself. 'Just call him please.'

He agreed that he would and got out the car wondering why his mom cared if his dad was so terrible. Surely she'd want him to have as little to do with him as possible? He thought back over what he'd read. After getting married Charlotte's diary entries were more sporadic and mostly concerned with her pregnancy. There wasn't anything that was particularly shocking although a few of the entries had given him pause for thought.

September 1962

I feel so sick. Nick insisted we go have dinner with his parents but I'm so tired I just wanted to stay at home. He told me to snap out of it, said I can't still have morning sickness and it's all in my head. He was in a foul mood so I agreed to go but I could barely eat what his mom had made. I'm sure there was nothing wrong with it but the smell was turning my stomach. It was obvious they all thought I was being rude. Nick was furious, he wouldn't talk to me during the drive home, I tried to explain but he refused to listen.

November 1962

I've really done it this time. I thought I was helping. The apartment was a mess, Nick's papers were all over the dining table so I tidied them up. I didn't interfere with them, I just put them to one side. Nick was livid. Apparently, he'd had them in some sort of order, and I'd gone and messed that up. I tried to explain and he told me never to touch his stuff again.

Nick hasn't spoken to me for a week now. My mom's visiting for Thanksgiving. If he's not talking to me then I don't know what I'll do.

I was in the kitchen and Nick came in and put his arms around my waist, patting the baby bump. He kissed me and said he'd make breakfast. I'm so relieved he's back to normal but I'm so confused as well...

The diary entries had ended in December and Jamie had cursed himself for not picking one of his mom's later journals. So far he guessed his dad could be a jerk but that was all he was picking up on. As soon as he got the chance he'd swap the diary with another one to see if there was anything more to find out. He'd already crossed the line, he might as well finish what he'd started.

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Jamie took his seat by Laura in homeroom. John was sat on her desk regaling her with some story, and she was looking up at him seemingly interested.

'I was telling Laura we should have another party,' John said. 'It was a good night. Any chance your folks would go out for the evening?'

Jamie pulled a face. 'Nope.' John knew as well as he did Charlotte wouldn't go along with that.

'I guess I could see if my parents could be persuaded, the only problem is I'm so popular I'd get loads of gatecrashers.'

Jamie met Laura's eye and they both smiled conspiratorially.

'Best give it a miss then,' Jamie said. He suspected John didn't want to have a party at his house, his mom probably would allow it, but she'd also insist on staying which would cramp his style.

'Yeah, it might cause a bit of bad feeling with Debbie as well,' John said lowering his voice. 'I wouldn't want to invite her but it would be mean to dump the girl and then exclude her.' He looked at Laura waiting for her to sympathise with him.

'You should be sensitive to her feelings John,' Laura finally said, and Jamie wondered if he had actually ended it. It would be just like John to string Debbie along until her replacement was a sure thing.

'Don't worry Laura, I'm a sensitive guy, Jamie can tell you that.'

Jamie's struggled not to laugh as John looked at him expectantly. Fortunately he was saved from answering by Scott calling John over. Now that John had been to his party Scott was determined to deepen the connection.

'So are you two an item?' Jamie asked Laura and she flushed looking away.

'No, I don't think so, I'm not even sure I like him like that.' She picked at a loose thread of cotton on her cardigan.

'You don't have to go out with him.'

Laura looked at him, her cheeks still pink. 'It's not that easy though, he's kinda full on. I don't think he'll take no for an answer.'

Jamie inwardly groaned, she was so passive it annoyed him. 'So go out with him then.'

She flinched slightly as if picking up on his irritation. 'Maybe I will.' Her voice was stronger now. 'If he actually dumps Debbie.'

Jamie smiled, okay she wasn't stupid, she'd seen through John as far as his relationship with Debbie went.

'He will dump her,' Jamie said. 'He dumps all of his girlfriends eventually.' He left the warning hanging in the air.

Laura nodded and cleared her throat. 'You know, I was thinking about what we were talking about, about your mom.' Jamie looked at her warily. 'Did you speak to her? I think you should.'

'No I can't, it's too complicated.' Laura gave him a quizzical look. 'My mom's had a pretty hard time of things, I wouldn't want to hurt her even if she is a pain in the ass.' He laughed but he could see Laura was unconvinced.

'You're her son, I'm sure she would want you to come to her,' she said softly and he bit down his irritation. It was simple for people like Laura, their worlds were black and white.

'Laura my mom would probably say the same thing but if she knew what I was thinking it would hurt her, and she's been hurt enough.' It wasn't just the divorce, and her teenage pregnancy, there was more, he knew it.

'What makes you so sure?' Laura asked lowering her voice.

'I remember things, from when I was little, I remember her crying, I remember whispered conversations....' 

'All adults cry and keep secrets, we've all overheard conversations we weren't supposed to when we should have been sleeping,' Laura said. 'I think it's great you care so much but I really think you are building this up into something that it isn't.'

Jamie gritted his teeth and breathed in deeply a couple of times. It wasn't Laura's fault she didn't understand.

'It's not like that Laura. There was a baby, her baby, my sister. She died.'

Laura's eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. 'Oh.'

'Yeah oh, so don't tell me I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not gonna ask my mom anything about the past that might upset her. I'll find out another way.'

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