Growing Pains ✔

Chapter 17

Jamie had been press-ganged into meeting up with Laura and John on Saturday afternoon. He'd tried to get out of it by hinting he might be seeing his dad but John had seen through his excuse, and Laura had pleaded with him to come along. In the end, he'd agreed, and he was curious to see how John would act around Laura.

John had offered to pick him up, and he was sat in his bedroom waiting. His homework out but there didn't seem any point in starting it when he knew John would be calling for him before much longer. He looked over at his bed, his mom's diary was still tucked under the mattress. He'd not intended to read any more but he did have some time to kill. He pulled it out and flicked the pages to where he'd left off, when his mom had found out Louis was in Vietnam.

December 1963

I am still so totally shocked Louis has gone. I know lots of guys get drafted, single guys especially, but it never occurred to me that it would happen to him. I hope to god nothing bad happens, whatever he did to me, I wouldn't wish any harm on him.

My mom's offered to look after Jamie if me and Nick want to go out for New Year's Eve, I really don't, I want to spend it with my family. Nick, however, jumped at the chance. He said we should make the most of the babysitting and actually I was being very selfish not to let my mom have some alone time with the baby. I guess he has a point there.

New Year's Eve was strange, we went out for dinner but Nick was really quiet, I felt like I was boring him. At one point he told me to stop talking about the baby all the time. We ended up going back to my mom's early. Sam was there, and that seemed to put Nick into even more of a bad mood. He said he had a headache and went to bed before midnight. I was happy to celebrate with my family, and Jamie was awake with me, but I still felt kinda sad.

February 1964

I'm really struggling with my course work, Jamie's so active now I can't study during the day cos he doesn't sleep. I've asked Nick if he could look after him on the weekends but he told me I needed to be more organised.

March 1964

I got a C- in my latest essay, Nick was furious. He said I was making a fool of him by being so stupid.

Nick arranged for me to redo my essay, I still only got a C. He's livid.

I was supposed to be meeting Judy for lunch today but Nick wouldn't let me go. He said I had to study. I told him I didn't want a degree if it was going to be this hard and he lost the plot. He grabbed my textbooks and threw them at the wall, and then told me I was a dumb slut who was beyond help. I locked myself in the bathroom, I can't believe he's being so mean to me. I just want to be a good wife and mother, that's the most important thing to me.

After his outburst, Nick is barely speaking to me again. I tried to apologise, to explain, but he said he's had it with my childishness. If I don't step up then I can go home to my mom, and he'll raise Jamie. I can't believe he's serious, surely he can't take my baby away from me? I'm so scared about what he might do that I'd better just do what he says till he calms down.

Jamie closed the diary, his feelings towards his dad raging. What an absolute asshole he'd been. He wished his mom had packed her bags, and taken the pair of them back to California. Why on earth had she put up with the selfish bastard? He heard John's horn beep, and hurriedly shoved the diary back under the mattress before going out to meet him.

                                                             ~~~

'So I told Laura we'd meet her at the arcades,' John said to Jamie, his eyes briefly flitting away from the road ahead as he drove them. 'I think she's bringing Lucy and Evie along as well.' Evie was Lucy's younger sister.