Growing Pains ✔

Chapter 11

Jamie had a fitful night's sleep as he recounted the conversations from the dinner table. He couldn't help suspecting that there was something going on between his mom and John. He was certain they'd exchanged a few significant looks, what they meant he had no idea.

He lay waiting for his mom and Louis to get up; he wanted to return the diary and get his hands on one of the others. The answers might be inside. He listened to them coming and going from the bedroom to the bathroom, then finally, they both went downstairs, Julia and Andy following them.

In seconds Jamie was out of bed and entering their bedroom. His task was made easier as the room was kept immaculate, he didn't have to rummage around. He quickly returned the diary to the back of the bottom drawer and pulled out another notepad. He opened it and spotted an entry dated sometime in 1964. That would have to do, he didn't dare risk sitting there and scrolling through. He shoved the diary in his pyjama top and scurried back to his own room. His mom called asking if he wanted breakfast and he shouted he'd be down in a minute. His dad was picking him up later so he was pushed for time. Eagerly he opened the diary.

May 1963

Oh my god, I am so tired, I can't believe how hard it is looking after a baby. Nick's mom has him when I go to college but as soon as I'm home she hands him back to me. That's fine except I still have all my essays to do, and how can I do them and look after a baby at the same time?

June 1963

I was so looking forward to getting out and meeting up with my friends today. Nick was going to look after the baby. Just as I was about to leave he appeared waving an essay in my face. I'd got a C+. He told me it was shit but he'd had a quiet word with the tutor and I could redo it. However, I'd have to redo it now while he looked after Jamie. I wanted to cry but I guess he was right.

July 1963

We were talking about getting Jamie christened. I said I'd like Judy to be god mother. Nick laughed at me and said she was far too young and irresponsible, so we'd have his sister. His sister's nice but she's already an aunt, I kinda feel like I have no say in my own baby's life.

September 1963

Oh my god, I don't know what I've done wrong. I'm trying so hard but I keep messing up.

October 1963

I asked Nick if I could visit my mom for thanksgiving. I want to take the baby to see her, she's only seen him once since he was first born. Nick said no, his mom would be offended if we didn't spend the day with her. I had to understand that I was part of his family now and they came first. I feel so alone.

November 1963

I told my mom I couldn't go see her, I cried and cried but I think she thought I was being dramatic. She assured me it didn't matter. But it does, I miss my family so much, I want to go home.

Jamie stopped reading when his mom yelled for him to come downstairs. He hid the diary under the mattress not knowing what to make of it. Obviously, his mom was unhappy but that didn't mean his dad was a bad person, just that they weren't right for each other. And if his mom had had an affair with John Lombardo, well that was a whole new ball game. He decided he'd try to speak with his dad, see what he had to say about it.

                                                                           ~~~

Jamie's dad picked him up to take him for lunch. The days of spending the whole weekend together were long gone, and Jamie couldn't remember if it was at his father's instigation or his. He couldn't say he minded though, he preferred to sleep in his own bed. As usual, his father parked up outside the house and remained in his car. When Jamie was younger Louis would take him out to his dad while his mom watched from the window, nowadays he went out by himself.