Forgotten Hallucinations

-24: Mind-

Y/N's POV

Why the thought of Lusiel came is unknown.

After he was gone, I forced myself to forget about him. With that empty void though, I unknowingly let Mr. Ten get to me. He was only a teacher.

But he was different from the other ones.

Even though I forced myself to forget, I ended up losing the will to do things or started getting anger and frustrated more easily. I changed my perspective on the world. The world had no room for people like me and only suffocated them with unfair decisions. It's the reality we had to face.

I was nothing that could be something. But I wouldn't be able to become a something if I was where I was.

The voice said it could make me something, when I was struggling to do so.

I'm in school, getting my 3rd master's degree.

I'm 21.

I'm distracting myself with piles and stacks of homework so the suffering isn't as bad. I isolate myself because as nice as being around people is, they make me worry too much.

I question my ability to do them any good when around them.

At home, I'm at peace with the idea that they are nice.

They genuinely like me.

I'm their friend.

I used to trust people and doing things for them, greet everyday, help them, bring them stuff.

"But would they do the same for me?"

That was the question that came to mind.

Humans are scary and unknowing. You can't know what they are doing or thinking, what they truly believe. If they are pretending or talking behind your back.

Everything is built on one word though.

Trust.

Such a hard thing to do.

I trusted Lusiel until they day he died.

I trusted Mr. Ten until I left.

I trusted my neighbors until they ignored what was happening. I trusted my teachers before they did too.

I now trust no one. Even Taye, who has been there for me through thick and thin, watching over me. Talking to me. Buying me things as well. Making sure I don't cut myself again...

He took care of me, as I would have taken care of them.

But I didn't.

He was there, I wasn't.

I'm not a good person.

________________________________

"Y/N?" I hear a voice call my name and turn around.

"Ara! You're awake!" Simi jumped on the bed and wrapped her arms around me.

"Watch it, Simi" Gemini pried her off of me and I heard her whine and pout. She acts like a kid sometimes.

I couldn't have helped but laugh.

"You feeling better?" Taye came and sat next to me, as I sat up and he rested his arm on my shoulder.

"Yeah, but I'm disappointed a little..."

"Why?" Him and Gemini both asked.

That definitely made me laugh. "One, because of the whole Lusiel thing. And two... I didn't get to meet them that night!!" I smashed my hands on the bed and let out a cry.

"I was looking forward it so much!"

They all laughed and Gemini said, "Don't worry. We'll go again next time so they can see you."

They wouldn't have liked you anyway. You're just another annoying fan that won't give them rest of mind.

A pounding pain grew and I clutched my head.

"Aye, you okay?!" Gemini and Taye starts to ask.

The voice from earlier changes and grows louder.

You're trying to become something without me?! I, who helped you when you needed it?! I, who took care of your wounds, who was your only friend! I was your everything! You left me to die..

And now, you want to become something?!

No... you can't do that... Y/N, you can't do that.... I won't let you!!

___________________________________

J's POV

"Y/N, get yourself together! Don't listen to him!!" I watch as she starts to curl up and whine, bringing her head to her knees.

"Stop it please..... STOP IT!!" She screams.

Taye and Simi start to shake her, but to know avail, until I try something.

I pull her onto my lap and try to cradle or embrace. She tries to fight back but put my forehead against hers. She's shaking. Her head was burning.

"Shhh.... It's okay.... Just breath..." I whispered. The only way she can get out is to step in. But for now, it's best not to do that.

"Y/N, you can hear me right? Don't listen to him, follow my voice...." Slowly, she starts to calm down and eventually relaxes.

Her shallow breathing worried me but the fact that she seems better is okay.

I moved her head to my shoulder and rubbed her back.

"Is she okay now?" I looked to Simi's worried face. Taye just sighed in relief as I nodded.

"She'll be fine. You guys..." I thought about something. "I think it's best for you guys to go for now..."

They both looked at each other and then at us.

"Uh... okay, as long she's fine and she will continue to be." Taye gave me a skeptical look.

I couldn't promise she continue but we'll try....

"Okay bye," they both said.

They both left the room.

I focused my attention back to the girl in my lap and stroked her head. She looked so calm and tired, which somehow gave her this simple beauty. I couldn't help but wonder why some one like her had to go through this.

Well, why did someone like me have to go through that as well?

"Gemini..." I looked down. Her eyes were still closed.

"Hm?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being so nice to me? Holding me like this?"

I didn't know how to respond. Why was I doing all of this?

"Even if you don't care..." she started. "I'm happy you're trying."

Unconsciously, I pulled her closer to me.

"Gemini, thank you."

Thank you.

She said it. And meant it as well.

I leaned to look at her face. A single tear ran down her cheek, as she drifted to sleep.

"What am I going to do with you?" I slowly moved us both to lay on the bed, holding her close to me. "You're driving me crazy...."