Chapter 11: War (Lust)

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I brought Rin to our room after the meeting. This was a long time coming and the timing felt right finally.

"What's wrong, Sis?" Rin looks up at me a bit worried.

We took a seat on our bed and I sighed "I'm sorry." I look at her "...Way back then. When you were just a baby... I mean you already know what happened... I killed Mother... and then we killed Father and everyone..." I shake slightly "I wanted to apologize. If it wasn't for me you'd be living a normal life. You wouldn't have blood on your hands. You wouldn't be involved with Ultimate Despair and... you wouldn't be a killer." I begin to tear up. I couldn't see Rin through my watered eyes "I... I'm responsible for your messed up life... I'm the source of you having to do all these messed up things... Killing Father... Killing the sons of Ojiro... taking the lives of others just for some stupid fucking rush?!" I was starting to get angry at myself. It's been on my mind for awhile now.

What was so good about Despair anyways? The emotion itself is like the rush of stealing from a store with the chance of being caught or the rush you get on a roller coaster except it felt so much better. But what's the point? What's so good at feeling Despair? I could get this rush from another emotion.

Love.

It all comes back to Azura. The one who woke me up from my delusion state. He even was the one to show me how stupid both Hope and Despair was. It was just an emotion. Its not some supernatural feeling. We all go through it. It's natural. Like right now.

Sadness. Regret. Guilt.

"I... I'm sorry I ruined your life Rin. I'm the worst big sister!" I finally let it all out but I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and a head snuggle into my chest

"...I love you Suki." Rin replies softly
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It was much later now. My talk with Rin made me feel much better. My head was clear. I was relaxed. My worries were gone. I said years ago that I don't regret what I did.

It was dumb of me to think that.

I regret everything.

Mommy... Daddy... I...

I miss them.

I truly wish I could return to back then. Stop myself from killing my family and becoming some psychopath.

I wish I could of met Azura on better terms.

I'd be the Ultimate Seductress, a new student at Hope's Peak and I'd meet the Ultimate Guardian, Azura Raijin. We'd become friends and maybe something more...

Everything I do moving forward will be to cleanse my sins. This is how I will forgive the ones I killed. How I will forgive my sister. I'll defeat Ultimate Despair. I'll join Future Foundation. I will...

FIGHT.

"AZURA!" I barge into his room and he almost had a heart attack as he freaked out and fell over. "GET UP RIG- is that an eyepatch?" I noticed the eyepatch covering his red eye. I smile softly "You look pretty stylish with it. I think a black one would fit you more though." I help him up

"I highly doubt you barged in and almost killed me for fashion advice." He sighs "What do you want?" He blinks at me.

"I want to spar with you." I look into his eyes. I was giving him a look I don't think I've made before. He seemed a bit surprised but he smirks

"You realize you're asking to get your ass beat, right?"

"Hey..." I smirk and whisper into his ear "I might be into it~"
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"OWOWOWOWOWOW!" I cry out

"Give up?" Azura asks

He had my arm pulled back and twisted. He had agreed to training and sparring with me.

"N-Never!" I manage to break free and throw a kick at him that he dodges.

He rushes behind me and I dodge as he goes for a chop to the neck.

"Not tired? I imagine you get tired easily fighting with those." I felt his eye glance at my chest and I smirk

"What? Are they distracting you?" I bounce them purposely

"Eh. I've seen bigger." He smirks back

"You're trying to make me jealous." I pout

"Worked though. Guards down." He says and the next thing I knew I was on the ground with him on top of me pinning me

"You know. As the Ultimate Seductress I feel like you're allowed to fight dirty. I mean I do when it calls for it. Theres no shame in pulling dirty tactics." He archs an eyebrow at me

"Oh? The noble Guardian is saying he fights dirty? Are you sure you're the good guy that leads the world's bright future?" I giggle softly

"Hey. Sometimes you gotta do it to get results." He shrugs and gets off of me. "Anyways... You're reflexes are getting faster. I felt one of your nails just glide past my skin." He smiles

"I think it's the results from our battle against Azura Kiyo." I sigh and stretch my arms and legs

"Oh yeah... Sorry for almost killing you. I never really apologized did I?" He scratches the back of his head.

I reach towards him and gently hold his head in my hands before lifting the eyepatch that was covering his eye "It's fine... cutie." My smile becomes a grin and I pinch his cheeks

"Ah! What are you? A grandma?" He pouts as he smacks my hands away "Go take a shower smelly!"

"What was that elementary insult?! Plus its not nice to call a lady smelly!" I pout back

"Would you rather have me call you a slut?!"

I gasp and smirk "You're an asshole!"

"Bitch!"

"Fucker!"

As we continue calling each other different bad names, by the end we were both laughing.

This. This is what I want my new life to be. Joking with loved ones. Living without worry.

Living...

It hit me.

I never really realized how much I had this will to live.

I have people that are still alive.

Azura... Rin...

I still need to meet those other two girls too...

My will to live...

My lust to live...

The future I lust for is powered by my lust to live.

-End of Part 2-

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