A Love Renewed

09 | Favors

Prince

Larry followed me into my office as I stood against my desk, I didn't want to take a seat and give him the impression that we had time to get comfortable. I knew Riley wasn't pleased that he interrupted our night and in all honesty I was quite peeved myself. He's always welcome in my home, but sometimes he seems to forget just that, it's my home.

"Did you need something important?" I asked him as he stood before me. I noticed he glanced at the chair behind him but since I hadn't taken a seat, he took his cue from me and did the same.

"Well uh, I heard you were going on tour pretty soon..."

"I am" I immediately knew where he was going with this and I already felt uneasy. "It's a very short tour, nothing major"

"Any tour of yours is major, brother" I nodded, thanking him for the compliment but still waiting for him to the spit out the real reason he was here. "I just was thinking, you know maybe there's room for me on this one"

There it was, and I hate that he cornered me into having this conversation right now. Larry hasn't had the most active career as of late. He's been hinting at bringing him on tour with me for quite some time. He's played a major role in my life, and I'll forever be grateful for the guidance he's given me, but sometimes I feel as if he takes advantage of our friendship.

There was a time when I would do anything and everything for this man. He was my mentor, spiritually and mentally. He helped me find something that I was so deeply missing at that point in my life. The problem is, I'm not that same man that I was back then and my views have changed in certain ways. Certains aspects of my life have shifted and in no way do I regret it. Unfortunately I haven't communicated this to him and I'm not exactly sure how I can.

I have very specific visions for all of my tours. Every musician, every singer, every song is specifically chosen for a reason. If I hadn't already invited him, it's because he just doesn't fit into that vision this time.

"I'm sorry, but at this point I don't have the time to make any adjustments. I just made a few additions not too long ago and that's already taking up my time rearranging things"

He lowered his head in defeat and I felt horrible for turning him away, but there was nothing I could do. Adding more people affects more than just the setlist, there's a budget that needs to be worked out as well. It wasn't as simple as saying yes or no and he knows this.

"We'll work something out on the next one. I have a few tracks I'm working on that could use your touch" I didn't actually, but I felt as if I needed to say something to lift his spirits a bit.

"I understand" he said quietly and he turned around to start to walk out the door, but before he did he turned back around and said "Can I expect to see you at Kingdom Hall in the morning?"

"Sure" I told him, and with that he walked out.

I waited a few minutes before I decided to meet Riley back upstairs. I didn't want this to ruin the rest of our evening but I have a feeling it's already been ruined for her.

When I walked into our bedroom I found her already in bed; hair in a bun and her face freshly washed. She never believes me, but I always thought she was particularly beautiful without all the makeup on.

I walked over to her side of the bed and gently sat down because I knew she wasn't asleep yet. She opened one eye abruptly and I laughed at her silliness. She giggled as she opened them both and scooted over, making room for me. I laid down on top of the covers and sighed, happy to finally be away from that awkward situation but it was still on my mind. She placed her hand on my chest and I rest mine against hers.

"What did he say?" she asked quietly. All I did was shake my head with my eyes closed. "Babe.."

I sighed again and swallowed hard before saying a word. She already has her own negative view of him and this would only fuel that fire.

"He asked if he could play on tour" The room was dimly lit and I was too busy staring at the ceiling to see what her reaction was.

"And you said...?"

"I told him no"

I could feel her breathe a sigh of relief but she remained silent for a while, until a minute later she finally spoke again.

"You don't seem too happy about it"

"I don't enjoy turning down my friends"

"Well then why did you?"

"What, you want him there?"

"No" she said firmly, "But if it hurts you this much then maybe you should"

As sweet as that was to hear, she didn't understand exactly why I was feeling this way. I wasn't sure if I wanted to open up that can of worms at the moment either.

"I don't think.." I started hesitantly "I don't think he wants to do it for the right reasons". Maybe it was the tone in my voice or maybe she just knew something wasn't right because she immediately propped herself up and brought her body closer to mine. She crossed her arms on my chest and rest her head in the same spot. I watched as she subtly moved up and down to the rhythm of my breathing.

"What do you mean by that?

"..He hasn't played many shows lately and hasn't had much work...On more than one occasion he hinted at the fact that he's actively looking for a gig..I just..I don't know, I feel like a bad person for not bringing him on"

"You are by no means a bad person, or a bad friend for that. He can't expect you to include him in everything. You've had him on countless tours"

"I know..but I can't just let him struggle"

"Okay no offense, but I highly doubt he's struggling that bad. And why should you have to carry the weight of his career? You accomplished everything you have without any handouts or favors. You've been incredibly generous with him up until this point, he can't just ask you to fit him on tour on a whim...that's unfair"

She had very valid points, and I felt the same way but it was still hard for me to not feel bad about my decision.

"At the end of the day I'll support whatever decision you make...but don't do it just because you feel like you have to, because you don't"

I let her words sink in and thanked her with a simple kiss. She always knew how to keep me level headed which can be difficult for others to do. I took everything she said into consideration and she helped me feel better about my decision.

I never made it to Kingdom Hall the next morning. I was too busy making love to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Her body was the only Kingdom I was interested in being inside of.

-

Thank you SO much to anyone who as entered ALC/ALR into the Purple Eggplant awards! I appreciate it 💜😘
Happy Friday!