A Love Renewed

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That whole night/morning is now somewhat of a blur. We were so high on the news that I felt like my mind was in and out of reality the rest of the night. I guess that's what shock does to you. He held me as I sat on the bathroom floor and cried. After all we've been through, after all the babies lost, we were finally going to be able to bring one into this world together.

We stayed up until about 6am, but all of the emotions and the amount of crying left me exhausted. He demanded I get some rest so I stayed in bed until almost noon. By the time I had woken up, Prince had already arranged for the Doctor to see me that day. He wanted details and he wanted them immediately, and I don't blame him. I wanted to know how many weeks I was and when we could expect him or her to arrive.

Sitting in the cold Doctor's office made me nervous. Part of me was still doubtful, even though the test clearly said pregnant. What if it was a false positive? For some reason I couldn't allow myself to get my hopes up 100% until the Doctor confirmed. I hadn't had any pregnancy signs, other than my sex drive.

"Mr. and Mrs. Nelson" the doctor came in through the door, setting my chart down on the counter

"Hi Dr. Robinson" I said with a smile. She had been my OB since I moved to Minnesota permanently. She was a sweet woman, very smart and accomplished for her age. Her and I have shared many discussions about my past pregnancies. I've been very open and luckily am very comfortable with her as my Doctor. I wouldn't want anyone else to help me through this pregnancy.

"There can only be one reason why the two of you are here and not just Riley" she teased. I tried to hold back my smile "Congrats you two" she opened up her arms and gave me a hug "I know how much this means to you" she said sweetly. She truly did, her words meant a lot to me.

"Thank you" I smiled, trying to hold back yet another set of tears

She squeezed Prince's arm and they both smiled before she started to adjust the bed I was sitting in.

"Let's see what's cooking in there, shall we?"

I got comfortable as she laid the chair all the way back, shutting off the lights so that the ultrasound was easily visible. Prince sat right next to me, not leaving my side and held onto my hand the entire time. Lifting up my shirt, she squeezed the cold gel onto my stomach.

"Breathe" she assured me with a smile and I nodded. I was so nervous. I couldn't help but have flashbacks to the last time I was in this position. How Gabe and I waited anxiously to hear Iris' heartbeat for the very first time. I shut my eyes tight as I felt my throat starting to burn, I didn't want to cry, not like this. I was missing my baby girl, but I didn't want my pain for her to outweigh the joy I have for this new little one.

Prince squeezed my hand and kissed it as he looked at me. "It's ok" he said, as if knowing exactly where my mind had gone.

"Riley, I need you to breathe sweetie" Doctor Robinson said, I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath. I just needed to hear it, that first heartbeat. Then I would know that this was real and not a dream.

I opened my eyes and tried to breath normally as she used her tool, scanning it across my belly. Not a second later...

Boom Boom...Boom Boom...Boom Boom...

There it was.

I couldn't control the sob that pummeled out of me. I immediately brought my hand to my mouth, partly in shock, but also to try and muffle the sound of me crying. Prince, still holding onto my hand bent his head down. I don't know if it was relief, or if he was praying, or if it was a little bit of both. He finally brought his head back up and kissed my forehead before we both looked up at the monitor beside me.