i can rarely ever sleep.
Whenever i manage to, the thoughts and anxieties manifest themselves in the world i once used as an escape from reality.
Today's dream was another one of those terrible experiences.
In the dream, i was running out of TJMaxx (I don't know why that store but then again it's my mind, which is very fvcked up) and it was at night. In the dream, i was heaving and panting as if i had been running for a while or had an anxiety attack. i turned to look back and my grandfather is there, and he says "I'm just going to fix you" and i reply "with jumper cables?!" out of breath. He runs towards me and i run away towards the parking lot. He is going to reach me. Then, i see a car that's leaving, and i signal for it to stop, but it doesn't. As a last resort, i jump towards it so it would kill me and my grandfather is about to jab me with the jumper cables.
That's when i awake.
i'm shaking violently, having difficulty breathing, and i feel exhausted and terrified.
And so the sun had not yet risen.
To attempt to calm down, i made tea and organized as much as i could.
i know the meaning of the nightmare...
February 10th, 2018
YOU ARE READING
In My Head
Non-FictionJust a place where I let the thoughts, ideas, tragedies, events and possibilities that thrive within me and the experiences I've lived be voiced and bear a place where others may understand them. •lower-case "i" intended •Cover made by me *Warning:...