You're tempting and persuasive
Toxic and harmful
Damaging and rough
You're detrimental
You're horrible but even so you're oh so thrilling and addictive.
I ignore all the consequences cause you make me feel again.
You make all the pain and suffering become less of a monster.
Metal on skin moving like a brush colouring a canvas, with every drag slowly silencing their screams and comments.
Crimson dripping like spilled ink, intoxicating the air with that signature thick iron aroma.
Carvings become permanent marks on my body, each telling a story of how broken I am and how poorly I manage everything.
You make the rough go tender and give me freedom for a while.
You help me cope with my distorted perception of reality.
You get me so high... but then you go and make me come crashing down back to reality.
You're too addicting and I'm held captive by your momentary relief.
But there's a "lie" in relief and your "relief" is exactly that, a lie.
You make things calm down for a while but no matter how much I ignore the consequences, they always get to me and things get worse.
I need to take control and I have to detox you the hell out of my system, get rid of all the suggestions, fight the necessity, control the urge and get you out of my mind.
You may have proven that you're helpful for coping with all the mental and emotional suffering, but just because something helps doesn't mean that it's a solution.
You help for a while but make things far worse.
So I'm fighting back and breaking the cycle.
I'll fall back into you many times but that's part of the process. I'm going to detox you out, flush out everything until you're out of my system for good and I never come back to you.
August 9th, 2019
YOU ARE READING
In My Head
Non-FictionJust a place where I let the thoughts, ideas, tragedies, events and possibilities that thrive within me and the experiences I've lived be voiced and bear a place where others may understand them. •lower-case "i" intended •Cover made by me *Warning:...
