precious ↠ e.d

three - drunk words are sober thoughts

i parker in the parking lot of desano's pizza bakery. the first place ethan and i ever came together.

the car ride was silent, he had rolled down my window since the breeze was nice and it made my hair fly all over the place. the sky was pink and the sun was almost setting.

"so," ethan says audibly, "what are your hobbies?"

i think for a few seconds, "i love to paint, and i love listening to music. what are your hobbies?"

"the typical video games. i also like long-boarding." he says, turning into the parking lot of desano's pizza bakery.

"you up for pizza?" he asks, "because if not we can go somewhere else."

i smile, "no, it's okay. i like pizza."

we walk in beside each other, taking our own seat by the huge window. i've never been here before but it was nice being here with ethan.

"i like pineapple, so we'll get half pineapple and whatever you like." he tells me. i'm surprised that he likes pineapple pizza because that's my absolute favourite.

"no, i like pineapple too!" i say excitedly. "it's my favourite."

ethan's eyes soften and his genuine smile appears on lips as he tries to it with his hoodie sleeve.

"why don't you ever let me see you smile?" i ask, curiously.

he shrugs. the waiter approaches us and ethan orders like a gentleman.

i take the key out of the ignition with shaky hands, i already see ethan through the huge glass window. i step inside and it chimes, signalling that someone walked in. ethan was chewing on a slice of pizza, with his phone in his hand. i took a deep breath before approaching him.

"what the fuck are you doing here?" he slurs, dropping his pineapple pizza.

"you should've listened to grayson." i scoff.

"yeah i should've done a lot of things differently." he hisses. "just leave me the hell alone, go be with your fiancé."

"not until i know you're at home safe." i sigh, "come on, let me take you home."

he laughs, "get the fuck out of my face. why are you even talking to me? you shouldn't be wasting your breath on me."

"don't talk to me like that." i growl. "get the hell up, i'm driving you home."

"feisty now?" ethan smiles, barely keeping his eyes open.

"what the hell made you drink this much? you smell like straight up vodka. please come with me before you get us both in trouble." i beg.

"what made me drink this much?" he asks. "seriously?

"lower you voice. let's go." i say, reaching for his arm. he yanks his arm out of my grip and stumbles out of the shop.

"what?" he asks, "did you come here to rub your fucking engagement in my face, because i saw the ring. is he rich?" ethan slurs, pulling out a flask from his coat.

"oh my god, ethan! stop." i exclaim, i snatch the alcoholic container out of his hands and he laughs.

"get in my car now." i order him.

"you're so cute, just as i remember you. although, your ass got fatter. which i'm certainly not complaining about." he smirks.

"ethan, don't make me tell you again." i sigh heavily.

"alright alright, relax precious. i'm going." he snickers. my heart dropped. precious.

"don't call me that." i warn him.

"you're right." he sighs, "we broke up. how long ago was that?"

"put your seatbelt on. where do you live?" i ask.

"so you can ask me questions but i can't ask you questions. i thought we trusted each other?" he slurs again.

"what?" i ask.

"who, what, where, when and why." he laughs to himself.

"how much did you drink, ethan?" i ask worriedly.

"enough to take the pain away." he answers, resting his head against the dashboard.

"what pain?" i ask, swallowing hard.

"my pain, it's the only that works. when i drink, my depression leaves and you're finally off my mind for a few hours, it's the best." he explains.

"ethan stop talking, you're going to regret this." i mumble.

"then i'll just add it onto my list." he yawns. "you look beautiful, allie. have i told you that yet?"

"where do you live?" i ask.

"i can't remember right now." he scratches his head. "just pull over and let me walk home."

"are you stupid?" i ask.

"i put myself in a position to lose you so yes, i'm really fucking stupid." he chuckles.

ethan was being vulnerable, i wonder how much he he thinks about me, probably doesn't add up to the amounts i think about him.

"why did you cheat on me, ethan? why did you leak my video and why did you make out with abigail?" i decide to ask.

ethan's tone deepens, "justin and abigail threatened me, he said he'd hurt you if i didn't. i can't remember much right now, precious. my head hurts."

"i haven't stopped loving you ethan." i tell him. i don't regret it either, the guy was loaded, like hell he'd remember me saying this, we both need to get things off our chests.

"allie shut the fuck up. you're engaged. i fucked up, you should hate me." he says angrily.

"i should hate you, but i don't. i love you ethan, i think i always will." i tell him.

"i love you allie. i haven't stopped either." he says softly. "i-i regret everything and i know that doesn't fix anything, and i'll spend my whole life apologizing for hurting you the way i did, but i'm sorry allie."

tears were pouring down my cheeks by now. i had to pull over, my mind was a jungle of thoughts. i began to hit the steering wheel out of frustration.

"what're you doing! stop it!" ethan exclaims. grabbing my arms and holding me down.

"why now! why did you have to hurt me before!" i cry, "w-why!"

"i ask myself that fucking question everyday." he tells me. "i'm sorry allie."