Royal War: Sequel to Royal Secret

Chapter 21

After a few more hours of getting the families situated into caravans, we watched them leave along with the Amazon Pack.  Alpha Castor left a handful of warriors that included her best warrior, Michelle, and a couple of my friends, Bethany and Candice, along with a few others.  I was able to talk with Nadine before she left and told me when the time came she would send more warriors.  I was grateful for her support.  

As for the packs that deserted us, Alpha Halder was able to convince Alpha Snider to stay with 65 men. The desertion of the other packs would not go unpunished once I take the throne.  We still haven't heard anything from Keagan.

I propped my hands against the shower stall and let the water stream rain over my head.  I was exhausted and this was the first decent shower I've had since we left for the castle days ago.  This was also the first time I've been utterly alone in absolute quiet and I felt emotionally battered.  I have never been this tested in my life and I knew this would either make me a stronger queen or literally break me in half.  Betrayal and love were the most prominent emotions that raged inside of me and fear and failure was close behind.  The betrayal of people abandoning me and the ultimate betrayal from my uncle coupled with the fear that the people would not follow me was frightening.  What if my plans fail?  Will they still see me as viable option to become their queen and rule over them.  Will they respect me even if I don't regain my wolf?  Did I deserve to be their queen even if I didn't get my wolf? Was Queen Sasha right? The moon goddess told me I would get my wolf, but when? Should I wait until I get my wolf before I try to take control from the king? Am I leading everyone to their death? 

One of the things that keeps me going is knowing that I have Korin's love.  I finally have a mate who accepts me for who I am.  Mission and all!  I also have the love of my high guard who will protect me to their last dying breath.  With their love and the love from friends, new and old, that will help me get through this.  It has too! I need to empty my mind and get rid of this turmoil.  I can't lead like this.

I felt a pair of hands on my back and I nearly jumped out of the shower.

"Relax, its me." Korin's voice calmed my nerves for a second, before I got a little self conscious of my state of undress.

"Korin, I don't.." I tried turning around to tell him that he shouldn't be here.

"Shh, Relax.  Don't turn around.  I'm here because I know you need me.  Just as I need you. Close your eyes and let me take care of you." I did as he instructed. I heard him rubbing his hands together and then his fingers began massaging my head and realized he was washing my hair.  He had pulled me away from the steady stream of water to allow the lather to foam and I leaned back into him.  "Empty your mind, and free it from everything that is going on around us."

His voice was melodic and it wasn't hard to do as he asked.  The feel of the rough pad of his fingertips scrubbing and rubbing the grim out of my hair was therapeutic.  All my worries and fears that swirled in my head just moments ago, were gone.  Korin slightly tilted me forward allowing the water to rinse the shampoo out.  I've had my hair washed before by women, but having Korin doing it was somehow relaxing and sensual at the same time.  He gathered my hair twisting and squeezing out the shampoo and then repeated another washing.  I could stay in this shower forever to ensure that his magic fingers never left my scalp. 

After he rinsed my hair the second time, there was few seconds of no contact and I was about to protest when I felt a cloth on my back.  I moaned a little when Korin began washing my back and prayed that I could remain standing while he scoured my body.  Korin made sure not to make the wash sexual, he made sure that the only thing that touch my body was the cloth and his hands when he moved me around to thoroughly clean all my areas.  He told me to keep my eyes closed through the remainder of the body wash, which was probably a smart thing to do.  I felt exposed standing in front of him naked because I could no longer hide my secret.  His hands were gentle but firm as they roamed over my body with the washcloth not leaving any part of me unclean.  I was placed back under the warm stream and felt the soap slide down my body and the water pooling at my feet.