Female Robbery (Z.M)

28 ; manito mission

Alina P.O.V

The sun is so bright I know I'm getting a sunburn for sure. I have no idea what time of the day is but it was sunny. I want to say it was late morning close towards the afternoon.

The beach is right in front of me; like always so clear and bright blue. I've always loved the beach and I always will. Most, if not all my happiest memories are by there. If not memories then the sound of the waves always soothe me.

They were so loud that it helped me not think. Sometimes I need that in order to have a moment of sanity.

"Flower, what are you thinking about?" Zayn asks, I turn my head to see him sitting besides me. The sun had darken his skin some but it still looks beautiful.

I wrap my arms around his arm and lean my head against it.

"Have you ever wish you could be more than you were?" I hear myself ask.

"I think we all wish that Alina. That's human nature." Zayn chuckles, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.

"But seriously Zayn. Have you ever wondered what you could have been, had your life taken a different route?" I press.

"Oh yeah. All the time but it does no good Alina. This is the life that was chosen out for me. I'm not always in cahoots with it all, but I can't complain. I have everything and the possibility to have it all too." Zayn says, more to himself than me it seemed.

"If you could paint the way you wish your life would have been, how would you?" I ask, turning to look in his eyes.

His hazel eyes were glossy but looked so beautiful. I don't want to look away just in case I'll miss something.

"I don't want to talk about what could have been Blair. There's no point in doing that besides making yourself depressed." Zayn snaps a light tone. I can tell he wants to move on from the topic.

I don't want to move on from the topic it seems but I have no choice. Instead of looking at Zayn's eyes now I'm looking at a white ceiling top with the fan spinning around.

I woke up.

I sigh as I realize I did it again. Even though it's been some time now I still dream. Anytime I have dreams with Zayn though it does me more harm than good. Even in my dreams I want to question him about leaving. Anytime that I get close to it though I end up waking up instantly before I can even get close. One second I'm dreaming still and then the next I'm looking at what's really in front of me. People would say I'm having nightmares except this doesn't feel like one. Not in that way I guess.

This nightmare is different. This nightmare became real and there is no real comfort in anything. I find myself wishing Derrick would just come get me already. I'm tired of being alone or with other people I don't know. Even that I must wait for because it's not safe according to him. Maybe I should be thankful Derrick isn't here yet. I haven't made up my mind on how I'm going to handle this. How I'm going to get out now that plans have changed.

A knock at the door alerts me even more. I sit up in my bed bringing the covers up to my chest.

"Come in!" I say.