Female Robbery (Z.M)

31; epilogue

Zayn P.O.V

Not a day goes by that I don't miss her or think about how much I'd love to see her one more time. Except I can't now because we've both have different paths to live and looking at it now it's better to be realistic.

Doesn't mean I don't think about Alina or stop missing her any less. I will always hold her in a special place in my heart because she's not meant to be in between my arms. I walked out and the gap I left behind just can't be filled by another, by work or distractions. In her uniqueness she carved herself a role right into my DNA and no matter how hard I try to remove it it remains unchanged; not bigger, not smaller, not louder and never quieter. I work around it as if it were a ball of razor wire in my living room, it takes effort to ignore it and just a glancing blow will cut deeply. I know it's my fault, I sold her out, for what? A pat on the back, a gold star? Now I see what she meant all along. Now that she's not here to hold my hand I see it for myself, but unlike her I don't have the courage to act.