Female Robbery (Z.M)

24 ; reminder

Zayn P.O.V

Nearly two months later and still no sign of anything going anywhere.

Time on the island seems endless. I wasn't used to being in one place for so long but I made do.

Alina was a big distraction for the most part. Time has given us the chance to become closer and learn things about one another. We didn't have to hide our affection for the most part but we were carefully ourside the house and around people Derrick hired to keep watch at night.

I know our luck will catch up to us eventually to make a decision. Alina seems to have her mind made up but mine has started to falter these past weeks. My feelings haven't budge but have vastly increased.

I wasn't naive to think this was going to be unchallenging for us. I just hadn't really realized how diligent it was going to be. I knew I wouldn't be able to act like nothing around Derrick. I absoluetly wasn't going to share Alina with him like a toy.

Derrick wouldn't just hand over Alina to me. If I took Alina I knew it would take years before we could ever really slow down to live a somewhat normal life. Zerrick would help Derrick track me down along with the boys out of embarrassment.

I thought about what this would do to Zerrick if he found out. He was the only father figure I had my whole life basically. I would be letting him down tremendously if I pulled this stunt.

The more I thought about things, the more I convince myself that leaving Alina, is the right thing to do.

Just as that thought came so did the agony.

Picturing myself without Alina made me physically sick. I get this dark feeling in my gut that makes me want to throw up.

Breaking up sucks. I never thought it would hurt as much as it did, because when you break up with someone, it's because you're not in love anymore, right? Not always.

I've been planning our future together, both in my head, and out in the open. We'd move to wherever as long as it was together, our fingers entwined, looking at apartments together, and talking about how lovely it would be to have one of them to ourselves.

It sounds ridiculous, but it certainly didn't feel like it. I guess that's love, right? I allowed myself to fantasize about a future and even thought it could possibly work out. You want it to work out because you don't want to be without that person. I allowed myself to think about years with Alina. Knowing her she would say it would be worth it. And it would be for sometime until I get tired of it.

I knew I was going to get tired of running and start to reproach Alina for it. Reality sets in like it or not, and makes the choice for you.

If I thought about it, without letting my emotions meddle, this was the right thing to do. I knew that romantically, we shouldn't be together anymore. We only would make it harder on us if we pushed it.

I didn't want any of us to be mourning the death of the other. I didn't want to have Alina constantly worried if I'm coming home to her or not. I don't want her, to have to look over her shoulder, the rest of her life

I was going to do this for her. This would be the most selfless thing I could do. It would be the most selfless thing I have ever done.