Dear Elliot,
im sorry that i haven’t written for a bit but a lot has happened, too much for me for me to stop and process but in a good way.
niall asked me to be his girlfriend after he dragged me out of our street and into an abandoned alley.
it was the first time a long while that i had unfamiliar strangers look at me, most not acknowledging my presence but then there was the attention my blue hair brought something i slightly regretted right then.
it was a wall built on a public land for our art’s sake. he handed me black spray paint and told me to paint me, something i felt, something that held meaning.
at first i stood there in awe of his amazing cigarette smoke, similar to the one on the looking for alaska cover... but two. he nudged me to start mine and i couldn’t put myself against that.
and that was exactly what i did.
i sprayed a box onto the wall and wrote emptiness on top. he laughed and kissed me.
then asked.
its liked being asked if i wanted pizza.
absolutely yes.
he put another letter in my clothes while i was in the shower and that was exactly when it hit me. i had left all the polaroids on the top of my old bed, i couldn’t let go to them, even if it meant running into my mother again
i rushed over to the house as the nostalgic smell hit me. the place i had spent half my time in. from the time i attempted being normal for my mum till when i finally gave up and led to where we are now, not speaking.
she wasn’t home so i quickly stole the photographs and my camera and ran out of there. if she did come back i wasn’t in the right state to see her.
i ran back to nialls and sat in the bathroom. have you ever felt really odd? like you should be happy but there’s that sadness pulling you back so you’re stuck in the middle, hurting.
i cried, i shouldn’t have, but i did and im not quite sure what for.
sitting on the cold bathroom tiles with the photos between my crossed legs hit me, the whole of me like a piano falling from the roof.
why am i sad?
i should be happy. everything is happy, i should be too.
but that’s the thing elliot, i'm not used to being happy.
It’s scary. i'm familiar with emptiness and its friends but not happiness...
niall knocked on the door and i couldn’t let him see me like this, i just couldn’t. i crawled into his bathtub and blocked my ears of his screams.
he probably just needed to use the bathroom; he wouldn’t do all that for me.
he finally broke the lock and met my eyes.
even through my pool of tears i could see his sharp blue orbs looking at me, sinking slowly.
he climbed into the bathtub as well and i sat on his lap and wrapped my legs and arms around him.
he said i was his baby
i said he was my love,
elliot, i was starting to need him more than i should. starting to have these feelings too fast for him to return them at an equal level.
and the worst part is i dont care that it is destroying me
-Cass
YOU ARE READING
Letters To Elliot -horan //COMPLETED AND EDITING//
Short Story☯ they craved each other in the most innocent way but it wasn't enough☯ A story of a girl with blue hair and a boy who thought he could pretend she was okay.
