Angels Cry (Before You Exit - Toby Mcdonough)

Chapter 48

"Mum, should I go and meet Toby? I mean, I am scared but I want to! My brain says no and just, have a day without problems but my heart says the other. What should I do?" I pouted at my mum who was listening attentively. We were at the living-room, drinking some tea and having the "mother-daughter talk" which I like to call but my mum likes to call it as "counselling". I don't see any difference because both of it involves talking and pouring out emotions. I was snuggling close to Sparkles (a.k.a the stuff unicorn toy which Toby had won it at the carnival).

"I don't know, Rose. I think you should. It is your choice." She said, taking a sip of the tea from her cup. "Well, then give me a reason why should I?" I said. She thought about for awhile, staring into thin air and had her thinking face on.

"Well, firstly if you truly love him then you should go. When you love someone they will always be up in your mind and you can't stop thinking about them. That is what happen to me," she explained. "You obviously don't want to lose Toby don't you? Think about it, what would happen if life without him, are you able to cope with it? Like without his presence, are sure you can move on? Are you constantly thinking about him or you are ready to move on with life? These are question that you should answer first before doing anything."

I absorb all the things my mum had said and tried answering them before getting my answer. Do I want to lose Toby and seeing him with another girl? I don't think I want that to happen, my life will shatter into million of pieces again and I'd be a wreck. I won't be able to cope with it, his presence with me is like so magically. I can't explain what is it like, it was as if an angel was with me and guiding me through life. He is constantly on my mind and now my grades are tearing apart (but I am trying to keep up my grades). And lastly, I don't think I am ready to move on with life without him. He is my rock, the one that keeps me stronger everyday and always hoping to see what tomorrow has install for me.

I guess I already got my answer.

"So, have you thought about it?" My mum interrupts. I bite down on my bottom lip before answering, "Yeah. Yeah I have."

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"Alright, call me if you need anything and be back home by seven!" My mum waved me off as I strolled towards the park. It was getting a little more chilly everyday and the fall season was coming. Leaves were already falling and turning into a different shade of colour. Orange, mahogany, green-ish and many different sorts of autumn colour. I kicked a few stones that was scattered across the pavement and hummed to some random music that came across my mind. Tucking my hands deeper into my jeans pocket, I blow out the heat from my mouth and misty air came fleeing out.

I could see the view of the park and saw not many children are there. Ah, the cold season and children are probably getting sick these days. Which would leads my mum into working late night hours for the rest of the week. I started crossing the street and stop in my tracks to see if Toby was any where near this area. No signs of him but as I turn to my left, a boy was standing there but his back was facing me. He wore a navy blue jumper and light wash acidic jeans which made him look like some kind of model for a clothing line photo shoot. I instantly knew who he was because hey, I recognize Toby and memorize almost every feature from the back of my head.

I forced my feet to walk in that direction and tried not to make too much noise. My boots were walking above small rocky stones, making tons of noises that I didn't plan on making. As I approach towards him closer, he turns around and I instantly melt inside. God, I miss him so much. He had a very pale face but a pop of red colour were surrounded on his cheeks. Pink plum lips and his dazzling eyes. I realised I was staring at him for a little too long and there was the awkwardness tension in between us. My eyes began to wander around the area, trying to not make eye contact with him. Sucking a breath in, I finally found my voice and shakily spoke, "Hi.."