the beekeeper.

blubber ii.

i feel complete along my thighs
and i love that about myself.
i can say that i love the meat around my legs
without bearing my teeth too often.
you like them, too,
i know you do.

but it's the gut,
the sack that holds more than just intestines and a bag of acid,
the largest hill of this landscape.
it's the growing cancer inside of my body
where the only kemo that could get rid of it would be diet supplements
or a growling belly.

i blame my upbringing.
those many nights spent home alone when i was a child...
all i could make was toast
all i could grab were chewy cookies
and all i could drink was kool-aid or coke.

gravy,
yes i'd love for you to slather gravy all over it, mom.
cover me in fat and comfort me with pounds.
he's not here to keep me warm at night,
so my blubber will hug me tightly.

that's all it is:
comfort.
comfort i'm sure you'd be willing to give to me
if i didn't look so fat.