i was poison dripping through tainted iv needles,
flowing into delicate veins that were not my own.
at the time,
i swear i didn't realize that i was anything but saline
and in my attempts at bringing you back to life,
i only brought you closer to death.
i was a machine that became so obsessed in my own inner turmoil that i forgot i was built to save you
and only
you.
i thought you were toxic to the touch without my own doing
but in reality,
i was the one who was so blindsided that i couldn't begin to fathom it was my fault.
i was poisoning you and i always had been.
i thought i was healing you,
but instead i ignorantly watched you disintegrate and wither
and the atrophy,
oh god,
the atrophy.
your mind, your body.
it ate you up.
such a selfish tool of me to take frustrations of my own out on you,
and i let you slip away from me.
the sad part is,
it wasn't the first time.
this hospice we created for ourselves will be the death of us both
and it's all because of me.
YOU ARE READING
the beekeeper.
PoetryVent Poetry Warning: Strong language Trigger warnings: Schizophrenia Self Harm Abuse (physical, verbal, and sexual) Gore
