"i have morbid, gory dreams,"
she said to me in a matter-of-fact
tone of voice.
she said it like she was proud,
albeit a little disturbed
at the same time.
she pinned it like a badge across her heart,
like she was saying to the world,
"look! i am unstable!"
and she told me of a mutilated man
that she once saw in her night terrors.
little did she know,
she was talking to someone
who imagined holding their own
entrails inside of their freckled hands.
she was talking to someone
who lived a morbid life,
who suppressed gory urges.
little did she know,
she was talking to someone
who has seen nude and emaciated
women curled on beanbags and
cuddled up with stuffed animals,
lanky creatures with hook-like fingers
prowling the wheat fields,
perverted uncles that shredded children with werewolf teeth
(all in real life, all in real time!)
little did she know,
she was talking to someone who breathed unadulterated panic,
who longed for the metallic taste of blood in their mouth,
who screeched at the words "ELECTRIC HEART SLEEVE".
SLEEP PARALYSIS IS THE NIGHTMARE OF ALL NIGHTMARES!
she was unaware of the way this boy waited for winter time,
not only because the cool weather soothed his sweaty palms,
but because jeans have a habit of masking dysfunctional paper shredders.
she was blind to the fact that this boy was a living fable.
he chopped off fingers with axe blades,
gnawed tunnels in his cheeks,
formed canyons in his legs
and filled them with a river of iron.
god, call him paul bunyun!
she didn't know that ol' paul hibernated in the summertime.
he had to resist his lumberjack temptations;
he had to lay dormant for a while
because july is too hot for jeans
and bathing suits can't cover the rio grande.
the babe had no clue paulie took some pain pills to knock himself out for the summer.
it's that time of year again:
no slicing,
no eating.
just hallucinations
and headaches
and stomach ulcers
and nightmares
and sleep paralysis
and haunting anniversaries
and painkillers.
but she won't know that.
YOU ARE READING
the beekeeper.
PuisiVent Poetry Warning: Strong language Trigger warnings: Schizophrenia Self Harm Abuse (physical, verbal, and sexual) Gore
