RC.

Ch5 ....... G

Read slo- .. Ugh...you know what to do..

There's something fundamental opposing him and me.

T:"Let me doubt this exhibition of magnanimity, I think it's more like people are just products for you."

T:"Little plaything that you shape to your needs, moulded in order to pass your quality control test."

He laughs heartily.

Mr. Carter:"My quality control test, I'd never heard that one before! You have imagination..."

But will he stop making fun of me ?!

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but he knows exactly what I mean!

T:"People are not just puppets that you can manipulate for entertainment purposes, neither are they pawns that you move forward on a chessboard."

T:"They have their own values, their own aspirations!"

He gets up, smoothing his tie down. This gesture stirs me somewhat ...

(Now's, not the time to be distracted, Tayla!)

Mr. Carter:"Miss White ... Your passionate character is endearing, but you have the unfortunate tendency of mixing everything up, and that's another habit you must lose."

(He finds me cute?)

Endearing? A word that I find strange coming from him.

(No. He's annoying me!)

His lesson-giving side is beginning to really irritates me.

He takes a few step towards me, holding his hand in his pocket. There's something terribly sexy in his attitude but I have to keep stay focused!

T:"Tell me I'm wrong."

My voice is hesitant as if I lost at the back of my throat, he's now standing a few centimetres from me.

I fold my arms over my chest giving myself a little countenance.

A small smile comes across his lips. He knows very well that he intimidates me.

(I should really stop staring at his lips ...)

Mr. Carter:"You're mistaken."

He said this whilst fixing me with his piercing grey eyes. My self-confidence slowly withers away!

T:"In that case, explain how you could possibly buy a girl at an auction ...?"

Here I am, topping whatever he says when things were calming down. It's self-defense, I guess it helps me stay focused and not lose myself in his look.

T:"Isn't acting like that plainly considering people as merchandise?"

He rubs his hand over his jaw, fixing the ground as he takes a few steps.

Mr. Carter:"So that's why you left so suddenly that night?"

T:"No, it's not for that."

(Oooh what a liar ...)

T:"Don't oust my question with another question ..."

I have before me an expert in rhetoric. There's no way I'm gonna let him get away with one of his rhetorical legerdemain.

Mr. Carter:"You're referring to that auction story once again, I'm simply wondering ..."

T:"It maybe because it all goes against my deepest values. A woman is not an object to be sold to the highest bidder."

He sighs softly, watching the city lights.

Mr. Carter:"I only played along to get the auction going. Someone else won the evening with that girl."

 T:"Oh ... And I'm supposed to find that better? The principle is sickening, whether you win it or someone else does."

He looks down at me, as one would look at a little girl who's hiding something.

Mr. Carter:"Are you sure that it's only the principle that bothered you ...?"

Here comes the typical Ryan Carter grin, and there goes my panic-stricken heart.

It's not just a matter of principle. I can't help but feel relief knowing that the girl didn't spend the evening with him ...

I stay silent, disconcerted by his question. I'd better get a grip before he realises he got it right.

T:"Yes of course, sir. Forgive me for having values."

Mr. Carter:"Having values and defending them is important, but don't wallow in self-pride. You forget what the evening was about."

T:"I ... Look, I think this conversation is going round in circles. You're not trying to understand what I mean."

T:"I'd better go. Have a good evening, sir."

I surrender, the fight is lost, but my self-confidence is too easily shaken when I'm alone with him.

I harbour the hope that we'll understand each other one day.

I harbour the hope of piercing through his armour one day and discovering the man he really is, not the one he shows.

I should stop wanting to change him. We obviously don't belong to the same world and it's impossible for us to understand each other.

He nods at me.

Mr. Carter:"Good evening, Miss White."

I leave his office, angry. I don't like conversations that end with the feeling that we haven't made any progress.

The corridor is empty as I step into the elevator.

I press on the ground floor leaning back against the wall. I sigh heavily.

This man is so discouraging!

(Discouraging but terribly attractive ...)