RC.

Ch8 ............. M

Ryan and I settle in the Limousine. Once the door closes it's like being in a reassuring bubble.

We no longer hear outside noises. Just our breaths and the crumpling sound of fabric.

He presses the button that closes the opaque window separating us from Jake, for more privacy.

T:"Ryan ..."

R:"I know."

He turns to me and passes a hand around my waist. With the other hand, he gently caresses my cheek.

The softness of this contact makes me let out a little sigh of relief. It's as if I had been deprived of it for too long.

(Oh what a small little thing you are, Tayla! ...)

R:"I was so scared he'd hurt you!"

T:"Me too... "

He removes his hand from my cheek and lays it against his forehead, then nods his head.

R:"I should never have asked you to come..."

I see the muscles of his jaws contract. He's arguing with himself inside.

T:"You couldn't have known a guy was going to shoot at you!"

He sighs. I can tell he's tormented. He's hesitating to tell me. Yet, it's difficult to back away, now.

R:"Listen to me, Tayla."

His look darknes. His eyes plunge into mine.

R:"For a few weeks now I've been getting threats."

T:"What?"

R:"In which I am summoned to stop my actions in Congo."

(A link with the sabotage?)

T:"Is it this sabotage story again?"

R:"It's possible, but it goes beyond that. There's a firm which doesn't appreciate the actions that my association is taking to help the people build their autonomy"

T:"But...To the extent of wanting you..."

A lump forms in my throat. Just thinking about it, I can't finish my sentence.

He immediately senses my distress and looks at me sadly. The glimmer of challenge that usually shines in his eyes has disappeared.

He puts his large hand on mine which is resting on my knees.

R:"The world of business can be a very dangerous place, Tayla."

R:"There are multinational companies that are ready to do what it takes to get what they want whatever the cost."

(You know the firm in question?)

T:"But, you know who wants to hurt you?"

R:"Yes, well I have my suspicions, but no proof"

T:"Which means that you're not safe?"

His eyes scrutinise me. He can't lie to me but he doesn't want to scare me either.

T:"Ryan, you can't go on like this! First the sabotage, and then the letters not to mention the car that followed us the other day, and ... and now this man who shot at you!"

I'm speaking so quickly that I'm almost out of breath!

R:"Tayla... Calm down..."

I can't!

T:"Calm down? Ryan, you're telling me that you're in great danger and that you can't be protected! How am I supposed to calm down?"

R:"I always protect myself with the means at my disposal, Jake ..."

T:"Jake might have been there tonight, but he won't always be there. Imagine if I hadn't shouted, that guy might have touched you and ..."

R:"Huussh"

He puts an index finger to my mouth. I read so much tenderness in his eyes that leaves me breathless.

R:"I'm fine, it's over."

His voice is calm, poised, convincing, almost hypnotic. My body relaxes instantly.

T:"Ryan ... You have to give them what they want, they mean business."

R:"And stop the actions I've undertaken over there? No way."

T:"But..."

R:"I'll never give in to their threats."

I can tell that nothing I could say on the subject will make him change his mind.

R:"I'm fighting for the values I defend. I'm not afraid of them."

(It's very noble.)

Of course. What else could I expect from him? The approach is noble but not without danger ...

T:"I understand, Ryan, but to change things, you have to be alive."

He gives me an impish smile.

R:"Nobody gets rid of me that easily, Miss White."

T:"Ryan, I'm serious..."

R:"I know, and I don't want to put you in danger... Attacking me is one thing but that they should attack you is another."

T:"What do you mean?"

R:"I ... I'm not good for you, Tayla."

My heart tightens. Not good for me? What does he know?

R:"I hurt you ... and my work puts you in danger."

I think back to our argument. Everything happened so fast that I'd completely forgotten about it ...

(Why did you do that to me, Ryan?)

(What do you really feel for me?)

T:"What am I to you, Ryan?"

R:"What are you?"

He looks at me, stunned as if I were asking a stupid question.

R:"You're ... I don't know ..."

He peers at me for a second, his ashy irises plunge into mine.

His gaze, so intense. As if a veil of emotions and thoughts pass through his eyes and his head.

R:" I've never been afraid of anything, and for the first time in my life I'm frightened."

T:"You? You're afraid?"

R:"It's the first time I feel something so strong and disturbing. You're the only woman who ever put such mayhem in my heart."

R:"I want more with you but ... I don't know how to go about it."

I stare at him, not quite sure I'm in reality. (Pinch me, I'm dreaming.)

Our silent exchange is so intense that there's no need to say more.