RC.

Ch11 .... D

We left the car on the roadside and took a small path that leads into the forest.

Everything is calm, all you can hear is  the birds singing and the sound of the wind gently blowing through the trees. The sun shines brightly among some leaves making some look bright green other almost yellow.

Ryan takes my hand in his. We walk in silence.

T:"When it comes down to it, you're a man of simple tastes. The beach, the woods..."

R:"When it comes down to it? What other clichès did you have in mind about me?"

(I thought maybe golf.)

T:"I don't know ... More business like activities... Well, like golf ..."

Another thought comes to mind.

(I also thought about secret meetings ...)

T:"And ... Actually ... I imagined you participating in secret meetings where you plan to put the world to rights with other powerful men ..."

He lets out a hearty laugh. Obviously, the thought amuses him a lot.

R:"I've taken part in that kind of ... meeting before."

T:"Really...?"

R:"Also played golf before to sign big deals."

T:"Seriously? You've closed deals thanks to a game of golf?"

He looks at me kindly, as if he had standing infront of him a little girl discovering the world.

R:"You have no idea how many deals I've made outside the professional framework. People are more inclined to trusting you if you share their rites and custom."

(Clever.)

T:"Mmmh ...  In a way, you manipulate the other to get what you want, I don't really like the idea."

He gently breathes in, thinking.

R:"I don't know if it's something I do consciously, I just know that I never sign with anyone I don't like humanely."

R:"Who's values are too different to mine, or who don't have any at all."

R:"I look more for the exceptional person who'll make an exceptional team, than the project itself."

R:"There are so many people who come to me to sell an absolutely brilliant idea, but few of them have what it takes, the courage and the strength to go all the way."

(You have that something that enables you to read people.)

T:"You're able to see through people ... like a kind of mentalist."

R:"Oh, I've been wrong more than once. But generally, if I follow my instinct, I'm rarely wrong."

R:"But the human factor is probably the most complicated thing I have to handle in my work. Some people are just more difficult to pin down than others."

He lets out a little cheeky smile at me.

T:"Are we still talking about business or are we now talking about about your fiancee?"

R:"Compared to you honey, business is a breeze!"

He rolls his eyes, and I punch him in the arm!

R:"You know, you'd be a very good manager."

T:"You're just saying that to get a kiss."

R:"No, I'm saying it because I think you have all it takes to be one. You just need to have a little more confidence in yourself."

He pats the tip of my nose, tenderly.

T:"Wonderful program!"

R:"So you like the place?"

T:"I must say that I prefer the excitement of the city, but the place is really nice for a stroll in such good company."

T:"Very cute, I didn't know a place like this existed so close to New York. You learn a bit more each day!"

He smiles at me. He seems so peaceful, so happy. It's so hard to believe, after everything we've been through, he and I.

And so fragile, especially with what I have to tell him.

When I see him so calm, I tell myself that maybe it's time to try an approach ...

T:"What projects do you have in mind for us?"

R:"Oh, you want to go onto more serious matters?"

I shurg my shoulders, innocently. Inside, my heart is beating fast. I feel like a bomb about to explode...

He slides a hand along my shoulders.

R:"Well first of all that we move in together and make our union official."

R:"Then ... I don't know, we have a lifetime to decide which direction to take."

T:"Do you ever think about having children, sometime?"

(How subtle! As dainty as an elephant in a China shop.)

R:"To tell the truth, I haven't really thought about it. And then, with Carter Corporation, it's not really compatible."

(He doesn't foresee himself as a family man.)

T:"Oh ... You mean you don't see yourself as a family man?"

T:"Or ... It's too soon for you ..."

R:"With all the responsibilities I have, I can't see myself raising a child."

Ok ... At least I have the answer to my question. But I can't say it really helps me out...

T:"Ryan, if we commit to each other in a long term relationship, I don't want you to put your work before me."

He stops an instant and looks at me.

R:"Is that what's been worrying you since we left? You're worried that I'll put you after my professional obligations?"

T:"No, not at all."

R:"I'm not against having children ..."

He smiles at me kindly.

R:"I think we have time for that, don't you?"

(Not exactly!!)

T:"Yes."

I stare at the ground and resume my walking with my arms folded across my chest.

R:"Hey ... What's up with you?"

Here we go, he's starting to freak out! He's probably beginning to think that he's fallen on a crazy chick who wants to seclude him!

"Not yet married, and she already wants to make a baby! I hate the impression I'm giving...

T:"Nothing!"

R:"Tayla ..."

T:"It's that... No ... I can't."

R:"You can't what...?"

He gently grabs my arm making me stop and face him.

R:"You can't what...?"

I take a deep breath. I have the sad feeling that I'm going to lose him for good but can't keep it from him forever.

T:"This morning ... I ... I... "

I look up at him, staring into his eyes which are so understanding that they embolden me.

T:"I did a pregnancy test and it's ... positive."

There, I got it out! But what should make me feel lighter literally crushes me.

Ryan stares at me, gaping...