Kai stared at you out of the corner of his eyes from where you were leaning against his shoulder. He was trying to hold himself back from completely embracing you in ways that he hadn't in so long. When was the last time he had held you?
He sighed to himself, he knew that answer was depressing. The last time he held you was before Hani had died and you were crying and while at the time you wouldn't tell him why now he knew. Your sister was dying and you weren't allowed to tell him about it due to Hani's wishes.
Minseok on the other hand, always had his arms around you which was something that was making him cringe even if he knew you needed it and liked it. He wanted to hold you, he wanted to be the one that comforted you - and maybe now he could get that chance?
You said it yourself, you loved Minseok but yet you still loved Jongin. Kai was different now, he was more like Jongin than he had been in years - but, he couldn't forgive himself for what he did to you. Minseok didn't have to forgive himself and he knew that you being happy with Minseok would be easier than the complex relationship he would have with you.
Although his mind knew that you should be with Minseok, his heart didn't because he still couldn't keep his eyes from roaming your body as if it belonged to him.
He knew better as he knew how complicated it was to love two people. It was easy to make the wrong decision - or in Kai's case, not decide at all and that ended up being his downfall. He couldn't let that happen to you.
"Open your heart for, Minseok, Y/N," he whispered as he clutched your hand, "Maybe your hurting can stop if you open up for him. He's already loved you at your worst so there's no doubt that your love could flourish." It hurt Kai to advise you away from him, but when one loved someone, they would be willing to let them go if it was for the best. And this was the best thing, Kai had to remind himself.
But instead of replying to his words, he felt your fingers running gently across his knuckles and a soft sigh escaped your lips as you kept your head on his shoulder. "Did you know I liked you?"
Kai was shocked and he froze for a moment, "W-what?" he asked.
"Did you know I liked you for so many years? That time it was raining and you came over to cook spaghetti for me, did you know I was going to confess?" Kai knew that you had already said you loved Jongin, but he was shocked to hear the words that you had liked him. When he heard you say Jongin as if it was he was a different person, Kai didn't consider it to be himself, but now it was obvious. You had liked him - no, you had loved him.
Did Kai know that you had liked him? He wasn't sure. He thought that deep down in his heart he did because of the way you stared into his eyes when the two of you were alone but he was still worried that he had imagined it. "I hoped," Kai answer simply as he ran a hand through his hair and stared at the playground where he remembered watching you with curiosity during the times Hani wanted to be pushed on the swing.
"I know you like her, Jongin," Hani said with a light tone as he pushed her softly.
"W-w-what?" Jongin stuttered as he grabbed hold of the swing chains and stopped Hani from swinging.
Hani groaned, "It's so obvious. You've been staring at her for the past hour."
"Hani-"
She faced him, "You don't need to explain yourself. In fact, never stop looking at her the way you do, she deserves it."
Jongin's face flushed as he looked over at you, noticing that you had fallen and his heart dropped into his stomach.
YOU ARE READING
Married to a Monster
FanfictionYou are forced into a marriage with your once love/childhood best friend. Although, you don't love him anymore and are disgusted with having to marry him. After driving yourself to suicide twice, you know you can't ever fix things with him but even...