The Waiting Game (Overload/Ryan Robertson)

Beach Break Down

It's been 3 days since the boys left and tomorrow we're going to London for the week to see them.

The past 3 days have been fun and adventurous.

I've bonded with all 4 girls really well and they're all like sisters to me. I can't actually imagine my life without them.

Today we've decided we're going to the beach as it was a really nice day and it seemed fun.

The girls were going in the see but I just stayed in my shorts, which weren't too short, and my long sleeved top.

We headed out of the house and got the bus to the beach.

We lay down our towels on the sand and sat down.

The girls all decided to go in the sea and I was upset I couldn't go in but it's my fault and I need to accept it.

I sat with my headphones in and listened to my music.

My phone began to ring and I saw it was Ryan.

'Hey' Ryan said.

'Hey' I replied.

'You alright? Thought I'd ring you as you said the others were in the sea'

'Yes I'm fine I guess, I just feel self conscious and alone' I confessed.

'Aw Georgia, don't feel like that, I wish I was there to hug you'

'I need a Ryan hug right now'

'And I need a Georgia hug, just one more day and I'll be reunited with my baby'

'Im excited, I love you'

'Same, I have to go back to rehearsals now, talk soon, bye, I love you'

With that the call ended and I was left again with my thoughts.

I sat thinking about everything when I suddenly started to panic.

What if they know? Is it obvious? What if they think I'm weird for sitting in a long sleeved top on a hot day. I can't do this. I need to go home.

I picked up my things and shouted to the girls to tell them is was heading home making up a lie about being ill. I felt so bad but I couldn't carry on like that.

I got back to the hotel room now with the tears freely falling down my face. I slid down the wall drowning in my own tears.

I stood up and stared at the reflection I was now looking at in the mirror.

I hated it.

I saw a fragile young girl struggling to stay strong. I saw a broken young girl and I didn't like it but no matter how hard I try I can never change; I'm weak and broken.

I was suddenly snapped from my thoughts when the door opened and Lucy ran in.

'Hey what's up?' She asked as my face was stained in mascara.

'I can't do it Lucy, I can't carry on like this. I have 8 amazing best friends and the best boyfriend ever and I still can't get away from the past' I said crying into her shoulder.

She hugged me tighter and she sat me down after I calmed down.

'Don't be upset hunny, you're a strong, beautiful young girl and no matter how hard life gets you just have to stay strong. I love you hunny, come here' she said hugging me again. I hugged back and cried even more.

I finally stopped crying and calmed down.

'Thank you so much for putting up with me, I go through these phases and I can't stop myself. I'm sorry for springing everything on you so suddenly' I said sending a weak smile towards her.

'Any time. If you ever need to talk I'm always here, I know what you're going through, stay strong hunny' she said hugging me tighter.

After I got washed and made myself look decent again we headed back to the beach.

We sat and talked for the rest of the time we were at the beach.

It was now 5pm and we decided we'd all go back to my house and stay there tonight.

We all got back to my house and ate some pizza.

We watched some films and ate some sweets.

It was now 1am and we had just turned the telly off.

'Good night girl' I said whilst turning the light off.

'Night' they mumbled as they were half asleep.

I lay and thought things over before I finally fell asleep.

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Sorry it's rubbish🙈

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