Changes | Lams ✔️

Chapter 22

Alex's POV
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I was at my small apartment, sitting in the bathroom. I had too much to let out right now. I grabbed my phone and looked at myself through Snapchat. My eye was getting better. It's been weeks since that incident. And John is getting.. abusive.. skinny. And a bitch. He's been sleeping with James for sure. And other guys. It sickens me to hear them at lunch talking about stupid shit. Also there stupid plans. Everything is stupid. I'm stupid. John is stupid. My dignity is stupid.

I scrolled through my memories, and found pictures of John and I. Some of the pics were of people friendly hacking my story. I grabbed my head that started beating like crazy. Tears starting poring out my eyes.

I started murmuring and whimpering things about john. Hopefully wishing that the pain in my heart and head would go away. Everything is going down hill. Everything seems like it's my fault. I feel like I haven't been a good person lately. Or that I should've never pushed John to the limit of kissing me. Is that what it's about?

Wait no, James..

Isn't that whose making him do this bull shit?

He was sick. And we kissed. He'd sit by me, we'd have conversations and suddenly he'd grab my leg or his own and start.. coughing. Then he'd go to the bathroom and stay in their for a while.

Wait a minute..

He'd go in the bathr-

I got up and jumped quickly to the sink. I shoved everything down and opened the cabinets and sink doors. I started crying even harder. My breath getting caught in my throat. I got to the mirror door, I opened it and pills spilled out all over the floor.

I sank to the ground holding my knees and sobbing in them.

This can't be real.

John has—

Suddenly the bathroom door flung open. A small figure stood beneath it and before I could make out who it was they ran over to the sink and started picking up the objects and placing them back in their spots. Very quickly.

I was trying to say something but when I began talking nothing would come out but the beginning of words. Not real ones. I wiped my tears but more came soon after.

"Alexander!" I heard the voice. John."Don't go through that stuff"
He didn't care that I was crying. He didn't care that I was hurt, scared, lost, and needed some comfort. All he cared about was himself and how people looked at him. But he doesn't know that they don't wanna look at him. People at school disapprove of this john. He doesn't know that because he's getting brain washed.

This was my apartment and John would sometimes stay here so it was quite obvious that he'd drop his stuff off here.

I was crying for multiple reasons. My heart is broken for many reasons too.

It's not broken.. it's shattered.

I'm scared for him. I wanna change his mind. I wanna help him. He's hurting himself. He's hurting himself in four ways.