Friendship

Clearly I Wasn't Completely Ready

Emily's P.O.V

I thought going back and playing the sport I love so much would help, that maybe it would heal the wounds I still carry around with me everyday. Unfortunately for me I was very very wrong.

3 Hours Earlier

"You got everything?" Lauren asks me, coming up from behind she wraps her arms around my waist.

"God I hope so" I say to her as I turn in her embrace and drape my arms over her shoulders. I smile at her as we stare lovingly into eachothers eyes. It has been two weeks since the house emptied and since then Lauren and I had to learn how to cope on our own and if I'm being honest it has made us so much stronger.

"I have my interview today, so I'll see you when I get home" She tells me with a smile before leaning in to peck my lips. She's extreamly excited about the interview and is really hoping for the job.

After spending some more time together, just holding each other. I was forced to pull away and gather my things. To say this goodbye was hard would be an understatement, I didn't want to say bye to Malia and I didn't want to say bye to Lauren, but I knew it was time to get back on the pitch.

Pulling out of the driveway I watched Lauren and Malia wave to me from the front door, huge smiles on there faces. I know Lauren is extremely proud of me for making this step, because I don't think anyone believed I would actually go back and if I'm being honest up until a few days ago I wasn't planning on going back.

After pulling out of my street I turn on the radio and blast the music, allowing my brain to blank for a while. I couldn't go into work with my brain all over the place, if I did that there is no way in hell I'll be able to concentrate on training. Thankfully the music helped clear my mind of any bad thoughts.

Walking into the dressing room, i through my bag down. Tobin and a few of the girls are already here. They all smile at me, finishing off what they are doing before the engulf me in a hug. I hear a bunch of 'so good to have you back' and a few 'Are you sure you're ready?' I know they are only trying to be nice and to make sure I'm actually okay, but I was kinda hoping a big deal wouldn't be made with me coming back.

"I'm fine guys" I tell them, giving me best smile before I start pulling away from them all, so I can start getting ready.

Training was great, it felt amazing to get a ball back at my feet, it felt like I had never left. Yes I am a little unfit, but a few more training sessions and I think I'll be good to go. I was enjoying my time, that was until after training. I walked with Tobin up to the fans, ready to sign whatever they wanted me to.

"Emily it is so good to have you back" A girl the age of maybe 11 says as I grab her Portland Thorns Jersey for me to sign. I smile at her to say thank you. "When will we find out what happened" She persisted.

"I just needed some time away" I answer. Lauren and I had been very careful with keeping Luca's death out of the media, because we both knew neither of us would be able to handle it.

"That's such a lie" The girl says to me. I give her a small smile and go to step away so I can sign things for the other fans that are waiting. "It's not good to lie, if you lie how are your kids gonna learn not to" At her words I freeze. 'Kids' as in more then one. Yet I only had one child now and what sort of questions will I be asked when the fans notice, that only Malia will attend my games now. Within seconds my chest starts to tighten and my lungs are struggling to suck in any air. I drop the nico pen I am holding and run, straight towards the dressing room.

My hand tightly gripping my shirt as I rip it off and throw it to the side. I don't bother completely stripping as I soak myself under the cold water of the shower. Breath I beg myself. In and out Emily, you go this. But no matter how hard I try, my panic attack is only getting worse. Even with the cold water drowning my skin, my body is heating up, my eyes starting to blur and I can't tell if it's from tears or if I'm about to pass out.

"Em's?" I hear Tobin's concerned voice behind me. "Emily?" She says again after I refuse to respond. The next thing I know I'm falling, my knee's buckling underneath me as my body falls hard and fast into the tiled floor below. The last thing I feel is my head smashing against the floor.

-  Present Time -

"She's going to be okay, she had a panic attack and bumped her head, but there are no signs of a concussion" Dr Maxwell says to Lauren who is sitting beside my hospital bed. The girls and medical staff at the club had tried to wake me after my fall and had failed, which is why am and currently being discharged from the hospital. I wasn't happy about waking up in hospital but I understood why I had to come.

After signing the papers I grab my things and follow a very quiet Lauren to our car. I can't tell if she is mad at me or if she's worried, my guess is probably a bit of both. I throw my stuff in the back seat before I get in the passengers seat.

"I'm sorry" I say turning my attention to Lauren, she gives me a sad smile as she turns to look at me briefly before averting her eyes back to the road.

"It's not your fault babe, Tobin told me what the girl had said" Lauren states, taking one hand off the wheel she finds mine and pulls it into her lap giving it a quick squeeze. "I'm just worried about you is all"

"I thought I was ready, but I never thought about the questions. What are we going to say when people notice that only Malia attends the games?" I ask with a sigh leaning back into my chair with the hope it with swallow me up.

"When you are ready and only when you are ready, we can make a statement, but for now I think you need to concentrate on your training" Lauren says with her supportive tone. I squeeze her hand before bring it up to my lips leaving a kiss on her hand.

"What do I do about the fans after the games?"

"I think it best for now if you try your best to just keep your distance, just until you are ready to face the questions" I nod agreeing with the words.

Lauren's right. I am ready to play again, i am just not quiet ready for publicity side of things, but when I am. I know that I will be strong enough to make a statement, because I know that with Lauren by my side, there is nothing this world can throw at us, that we won't be able to handle together.

A/N: Hey guys sorry it has been so long. I hope you like this update. The next few chapters will be able all the girls getting back into the swing of things x