I try to look up to the stars when I feel lost, and I am very lost

2 A.M.

2 am feels like 2 pm
Every night I sit alone and think
About life and every little sin
But amongst my scars there's only one
One that cut the deepest
A self inflicted wound that won't ever heal
It's 2 am and I stay poking at this scar
Until it opens up just to feel
I wish to every god in creation
To turn back time just so that
I never opened this laceration
That keeps me up past 2 am
My doctor says it's insomnia
It's anxiety it's depression
But it's something much worse
It's a self inflicted transgression
One upon my own soul
That I can't forgive
It's funny I say I don't believe in God
Yet I always need to feel forgiven
If I were to die and go to heaven
I'd say to God
"Get on your knees and beg my forgiveness"
How could you put me in a world
With only one soul mate
And not grant me the sense
To fill my heart with all these qualities
That I have in there now
But it's too little too late
So I say beg for my forgiveness, lord
You designed a flawed world
Where kids feel afraid to walk down the street
Some people never have a decent meal to eat
Some may never meet the love of their life
And others are like me searching for advice
Because they met the love of their life
And now sit back and pick up a vice
Because they let it slip through their hands
Like smoke in the air
I'm swatting at nothing I can catch
So I sit back with a drink
At 2 am and all I can do is think
On how to turn back time
And undo all the hurt that's been done
And maybe everyone can coexist and have fun
And not live life alone
Thinking they weren't good enough
When they were
I sit back and think this life is weird and it's fucking odd
I sit back and think maybe we'd be better off without a single god
Maybe instead of a man up above
We need a woman a mother
Someone to really look out for every woman, man, sister, and brother
Someone we can talk to and know that is listening
Just think
In the past 48 hours I've had more than three friends tell me they wanted to die
One of them picked up a knife and could only think of suicide
This world is fucked up
And I'm sitting here asking for advice
Because this world is so wrong
I wanna make a change
I hate being only one voice
If I had more I'd tell everyone
To love who's in front of you like your life depends on it
Because you don't wanna end up at 2 am thinking about how you're the reason someone ended their life
The cycle never ends
We need to turn back the clock
And learn to love
One another for our faults
But most of all we need to look ourselves in the mirror and exalt
Life is fleeting and it's worth every second
Even if time has been taken from you
Until we can take this world and mend it
Get back up and face this cruel reality
Don't give in and don't ever end it