"The Only Way I Know" (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 4

I walked out to Ben's car and got in the passenger seat of his black BMW.

"Hey are you ready for a day of fun?" Ben asked as he made his way out of my driveway and onto the street.

"Yeah, thanks for doing this. Otherwise I would have been stuck with mum and Jade all day...so thanks." I looked down at the floor while I picked my nails as I spoke.

As we turned onto the main road Ben spoke up. "Seriously, stop thanking me. There's no need to thank somebody when there doing something for you on YOUR birthday."

I stifled a laughed and Ben followed doing the same. During the drive Ben had turned on some music to ease the quietness in the car. I starred aimlessly out the window, thinking of absolutely nothing and everything all at the same time. These times that I zoned out Ben never really seemed to care, he claimed it never felt awkward to him, but sometimes I'd beg to differ. He has been around me so long he got used to knowing when he should and shouldn't say things to me and when he should and shouldn't ask me if I'm okay.

I was soon jolted out of my thoughts when I felt Ben tapping my shoulder.

"Butterfly..butterfly..Hey, hello, Shay?"

"Oh sorry I was just totally zoned out."

"Haha its okay, it's nothing. It's cool. But hey, were at the ocean so lets actually get out so we can have some fun today, yeah?"

"Haha sounds good."

We both got out of the car, I grabbed my bag which was placed by my feet and Ben opened the backseat behind the drivers seat and got out a bag from the local grocery store that had snacks for us in it, if we got hungry throughout the day.

We briefly glanced at each other and made our way to the set of wooden steps that would lead down to the beach. Once we stepped onto the sand we searched for a spot where we could set all of things down on. Ben found a spot near one of the tall lifeguard chairs where we sat all of out stuff down. The beach to my disliking was so packed today, they were seriously people everywhere. Go figure what did I expect? It's early May.

"I'm gonna go down to the water and see how it feels, wanna come?" Ben asked as he started to take off his shirt so he was standing in front of me with just his swim shorts on.

"Uh yeah. Give me a sec." I quickly took off my top over my head and unbuttoned and shimmied my jean shorts down my legs. "Okay I'm ready. Lets go."

We walked down closer to where the water was coming to the shore. The water quickly came out just to touch the tips of my toes.

"Omg thats freaking freezing!" Ben cackled from where he stood to my right.

"Oh Shay. Such a baby really, can't take a bit of cold water can you?"

"I so can. Don't ever doubt me." An evilish smirk spread across my face as I looked at Ben.

"Okay, Butterfly whatever you say." And with that he took a hold of my arm and pushed me so I tripped over my feet and feel straight onto my butt in the freezing water of the Atlantic Ocean. Completely soaking every part of my body.

I glared at Ben as he was doubled over, hands on his knees, laughing his arse off. Haha I wanted to be mad at Ben but he was the only person today who could make me smile and I was very thankful that I had one friend who cared enough to do that. Ben walked over and held out his hand to help me get up.

"Sorry about that doll, I just wanted to make sure that I could never doubt you." His lips twitched up at the sides turning themselves into a smile/smirk, that just made me smile.

We walked towards the shore and found ourselves walking towards the blanket we had set out. We both sat down on it. I propped myself up onto my elbows and looked out at the ocean that seemed to have a glistening look to it. It seemed never ending from my position on the sand looking out at it. That just made me wonder more about if I would be okay with my life being like this forever. I know some people may believe that living near the beach would be a dream come true because it would always feel like a vacation and always feel comforting and relaxing, and to some they may feel that way. But to me I felt the exact opposite.

"Hey Ben..?" I was fumbling with the sand in between my fingers. He nodded and peered up, signaling for me to go on. "Uh- um like do you think you would like to live here the rest of your life?"

Clearly Ben was slightly confused by my "out of the blue" question but answered anyways. "Yeah, I would like to live here the rest of my life. I'm happy here. I've always pictured myself getting married down here and raising a family down here, where we would just have fun with our lives and come here to the beach every weekend. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, it's just that I don't think I'm necessarily happy with my life. I'm sick of Corolla, to me it's always the same down here, nothing changes, it's so boring, it's always constant. And I think I need a change. A change where I don't have to go to college or become a lawyer..."

Ben, was sitting up straight now looking at me through a furrowed brow. "But, I always thought thats what you wanted. You know to live down here and become a kick-arse lawyer..?"

"I did. Don't get me wrong, I did for the longest time. It's just that I don't feel that way anymore. I want to be free. I never have fun it's always work, work or study, study. I need a break."

"Oh. I mean I understand, I think. Some people just don't have exactly what they need or what there looking for where that at in that moment. And for you, if it's not here then you should go find somewhere that makes you happy. Find someplace that makes you feel at home and in your heart you feel is right and not just come to a mutual agreement of what you think you like because you feel like it would make the people around you feel better. Do it for you."

When those words came out of Ben's mouth all I did was sit there and just let them soak in. In all the time that I've known him he was never the serious one. The funny one, yes. The serious one, definitely not. But regardless I took his word to heart.

I sat there for what felt like hours just looking into the sky thinking until I came to a decision.

"I-I.. I think I'm going to quit college and pack up some of my stuff and get my car and drive around the United States until I find a place that will truly make me happy because there's too many bad memories here and I need some fresh air for a littl- a long while."

Ben sat there gazing at me intently. I quietly reminded myself, he was always a good listener.

"Good. Do something for you. Make yourself happy for once. I support you in this all the way. I uh just .. how are you gonna tell your mum?"

Hmm thats actually a good question. I hadn't really thought about that yet.

"I think I'm going to break it to her over dinner. She seems to be at her happiest then. And I mean whatever she does say won't effect my opinion and she can't make me not quit college because I'm an adult. I'm 20 years old. So legally she has no say."

"Sounds like a plan to me." And with that Ben and I hopped off the blanket and gathered our stuff up because the sun was starting to set and we made our way off the beach and to the car, where we drove away, back to my house where I would break the news to my mom.